Author Topic:  The Nightthrall  (Read 506 times)

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Balian

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The Nightthrall
« on: April 20, 2013, 05:12:12 AM »
This is the prologue to a novel that I'm currently writing. Just thought I'd share it here, so that I can get some feedback on it. I want to make sure I'm going the right way with it because if it's crap, I'll just scrap it. I'm currently tossing up a few story ideas, so I want to be sure that this is the right one to pursue. I hope you guys like it and any feedback positive or negative (as long as it's constructive) is much appreciated. And know for the story:

           October 9th, year 2165. My name is Isaac Johnson. I'm a third-born here on Luna. My great-grandfather fought in World War III back on Earth in 2056. Once the war started, the Earth quickly became a mess. Governments around the world started accelerating their Luna colonization projects, knowing that Earth didn't have much time left. They were getting desperate.

           Many countries, including the U.S., had already started drafting anyone who was not a minor and could hold a gun. By 2072, the war had ended leaving billions dead and the Earth no longer a habitable place. The world's governments quickly mass transported the remaining survivors, a fraction of the population from before the war, to Luna. Everyone was separated into different colonies across the surface of Luna. A year later, the first-borns of Luna, including my grandfather, had arrived. In the 92 years that have passed since then, things have become progressively worse.

           At first, it was nothing major. Occasional raids from bandit clans on certain colonies. Small-time criminals causing trouble in some of the larger colonies. Nothing the colony guards couldn't handle. But over time, as more people began to hate it here, more bandit clans started showing up and they increased in size. They started fighting not just each other but against the colonies, too. Not just the small raids like before but full-scale wars. Eventually, the guards at almost all of the small colonies and even some of the larger ones, were dead. With no one to replace them, the civilians within the colonies had to learn to protect themselves. Luna became a much more disjointed place after that.

           In the past few months, it's gone from really bad to way worse. At this point, bandits are the least of most people's worries. That's especially true for the survivors here at Colony 6. We were attacked a few weeks ago by terrifying creatures that have become known as the Nightthrall, due to their appearance and because they only come out at night.

           The Nightthrall are hideous, gangly creatures with jet black skin and red eyes. Their heads slightly resemble a rat. Long, pointed ears and a slightly protruding mouth with sharp fangs. They also have sharp, slightly curved claws on the ends of each of their 3 fingers and thumb. They are very fast and agile and so, make for very difficult enemies.

           “Isaac get out here! We're under attack!” screams my best friend Jeb.