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Author Topic:  The Stolen War (previously Three point)  (Read 2703 times)

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addme5000

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The Stolen War (previously Three point)
« on: April 16, 2013, 03:06:16 PM »
This will be a weekly story about three different people a girl and two men it will alternate each week. I will not give you many details you will have to hang on and keep your eye out for them. Now story one
Edit: I lied I will do at least a paragraph a week maybe more.

   Jenny sat in her room she was 19 blond with a light tan about 5"9' she wore a tank top and booty shorts. She was the kind of girl who would blend in in a crowd. As she looked out her window, she saw all of New York City It was June 16, 2001. She thought about her girlfriend Beth who had disappeared last week without a trace. Then she looked to her wall and saw the Sword, her father had given it to her before he died when she was 12 he always said that she would save the world with it but it just sat on the wall never moving. She walked over to the wall, pulled the sword down, and pulled it out of its sheath. It was a 14th century sword, the handle was 9 inches long, and the blade was 32 inches. At the top of the hilt was a dragon in diamond.
      She put the sword to her Throat she was considering suicide when she remembered what her dad had always said before he died..."Suicide is the retreat for a coward that thinks only of himself." She dropped the sword on to her bed and left the room. She turned left down the hallway and emerged in the kitchen on the dinner table sat an envelope unopened. It had not been there when she went to her room. She walked to the table and picked it up. Starring at it gave her a strange feeling of dread. She turned it over and in her father’s unique signature it said to Jenny From: dad. She sat there starring at the envelope for what felt like an hour. She had not seen that scrawl in seven years. She looked around herself and decided to open the letter.
      Jenny opened the letter and with a trembling hand pulled out a single piece of paper it said
Spoiler for Hidden Content:
   Jenny if you are reading this the time has come to do some explaining. There is a war going on in this world. Most people are not aware of this war every day the war takes lives. Two parties are fighting for control of three weapons together they are called Ende der Tage or End of Days. They all have amazing powers that if they were to fall into the wrong hands would cause exactly that! That is why I put one in yours. Tomorrow go to uncle bill's pancake house. My friend will be there. p.s. bring the sword.
   Jenny stood there looking at the letter. Wishing that more would appear explaining why this happened. Yet nothing did. She walked to her couch and laid down. It came from her old house it had been her fathers. She remembered days of sitting on it watching movies, and getting boy advice. She laughed at this thought seeing as that was not very useful. She than remembered later memories of her and Beth cuddling under the covers. Watching a movie and sometimes not watching the movie.
   Sunlight came beaming through a crack in the curtains landing on jenny's face wakening her from her slumber. She looked at the clock it was 6:14 time to get up. Jenny took off her clothes and headed to the bathroom as she took her shower she thought about whether or not she should go or not. In the end, she decided that it was the only way she could get any explanation for this so she decided to go. She dressed in tight blue jeans and a grey brony t-shirt. Her hair was down around her shoulders. She took the sword and slung it over her shoulder and left her apartment as she closed the door she had a feeling that the next time she was back it would not be so calm. When she arrived at the pancake house, she sat at in a window booth and ordered her favorite breakfast endless blueberry waffles. Her plate was placed and she dug in forgetting all about why she was there. She remembered having blueberry pancakes every Sunday when she was a kid. Before she realized she had eaten the entire plate. As she shoveled the last fork full into her mouth, a voice said to her right. “Hello, I’m looking for Jenny.” When she looked up, she saw someone that was no different from your average grandfather. White hair, a kind wrinkly smile, He was wearing a green jacket suspenders a striped shirt, brown pants and brown loafers.
“Hello.” Replied jenny, “That’s me.”
   “Hey I am Rico.” He said as he sat down Jenny looked into his eyes they were cold and dark seemingly out of place on his face.
   “You know my father?” jenny asked
   “Yea I have known him ever since high school.” We were co-captains on the football team and I got him into this work. I led the mission when we recovered that sword of yours.” He said grimly
   “What would you like sir?” the server said as she put another plate of pancakes down in front of Jenny who attacked them immediately.
   “Just coffee two creamers and to sugars please.” He said
   “Okay” replied the server and she walked away
   “Okay. So what is the whole thing about? What do I have to do with it?” inquired jenny
   “well,” began Rico,” Well sometime in the year 200ad a group formed they called themselves Luftreiniger der Erde or Luftrein for short. They believed that the world had been infected with hate and sin and that the only way to recover was to clear the earth of the imperfections. They planned to kill everyone except for the five hundred members. They were close to until Ushtarėt ēlirimtarėn (freedom fighters) got wind of the situation. They rose up and stopped the Luftrein. This angered the group so the teamed up with monsters blood thirsty monsters that kill for sport, ones that would love to see the world burn, the most vile filth alive.“ He paused a moment as if he was thinking of what to say and then said, “And they have found us. “ An arm reached out of nowhere and a screeching demonic voice screamed
“Surrender The Ende der Tage or the old man dies!”
     Jenny looked up and saw one of the waiters holding onto Rico. In a flash she had drawn her sword. Rico Screamed,"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....." Just as the sword plunged into the waiter’s chest. Five miles away John on his way home died in the middle of the freeway. “Those are Hosts!" He screamed. “They use a real person’s life force to give them a form! You have to disable the connection to kill the actual monster. See the devise on their ear?"
   “Yea!?” Jenny answered confused.
   “Break them!”  Commanded Rico
   At that moment three more waiters walked into the room holding knifes. Jenny picked up a plate and launched it into the air. It came crashing down, Onto one of the devices shattering it. Every part of the waiters body started to change slowly at first then quickly picking up speed. there arms grew and shrank, Its face morphed constantly changing. A look of complete rage appeared on the others faces and they lunged. Rico smashed a plate against one of the others heads breaking the device and then stabbed it in the eye, it fell to the ground. Jenny brought the sword around in a swift arc and chopped the firsts head off. Her sword flew out of her hand. She had just enough time to break the thirds device before she was pinned to the ground. "Who are you?" The monster asked
         "I am Jenny Carrip!" She yelled Fear showed in the monsters many versions of eyes. The Blade of a knife sprouted from it's chest and withdrew.
         "That should take care of it!" announced Rico as jenny pushed the dead monster off of her.

        "god damn it, god damn it..." jenny trailed off rico pulled her to her feet and put a hand on the shoulder.
     "Look, if you want an explanation you can have one, but we need to get somewhere safe first." Rico said looking at her. Jenny never relized how tall Rico was while they ate. but now standing up. He towered over her.
       "Okay, lets go." Jenny said moving along behind Rico as he left the restaurant.
      "Look for now its best that you follow behind me and don't talk. it the safest way." Rico muttered. jenny nodded her head and followed behind Rico. The foot traffic was so thick on the sidewalk Jenny nearly lost Rico a few times. they walked for several miles before RIco went into a building. The building was normal enough but above the door frame was a triangle and inside were three dragons. one blue, one green, and one red.They looked just like the dragon on Jennys sword. strange she thought moving up the steps and through the door to see....
« Last Edit: May 26, 2014, 01:47:06 AM by addme5000 »

Squall

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Re: The three points
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2013, 05:05:25 PM »
It looks nice so far, although I noticed a few minor spelling errors.
I am intrigued by the story though.
-Squall, I'm one of the more sophisticated members of this site. Feel free to message me if you run into any problems here.
Spoiler for Hidden Content:
Feel free to check out the story I'm writing! http://totalminerforums.net/index.php?topic=366.0

addme5000

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Re: The three points
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2013, 10:42:51 PM »
saved for more of the story

KUi Klutch

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Re: The three points
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2013, 10:45:34 PM »
Nice story so far.

warhelios

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Re: The three points
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2013, 10:45:48 PM »
Good start add, I'm curious to see what happens. :) +1

demman32

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Re: The three points
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2013, 10:53:51 PM »
Interesting concept, but the spelling errors, and lack of punctuation tend to kill. Though, my standards do tend to be a little too high for an internet forum. I will continue to read, nonetheless :)
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addme5000

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Re: The three points
« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2013, 11:23:23 PM »
Interesting concept, but the spelling errors, and lack of punctuation tend to kill. Though, my standards do tend to be a little too high for an internet forum. I will continue to read, nonetheless :)
I get your point and will now be running it through word before uploading. Thanks for the review! I am already in love with this story and ant wait to share it with you guys!
« Last Edit: April 16, 2013, 11:45:27 PM by addme5000 »

Squall

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Re: The three points
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2013, 03:16:21 PM »
I honestly really like it :3
Still waiting for more ^_^
-Squall, I'm one of the more sophisticated members of this site. Feel free to message me if you run into any problems here.
Spoiler for Hidden Content:
Feel free to check out the story I'm writing! http://totalminerforums.net/index.php?topic=366.0

addme5000

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Re: The three points
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2013, 03:45:31 PM »
more added

Squall

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Re: The three points
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2013, 03:47:48 PM »
more added

Just read it, I love the clever use of spoilers there.
Every new addition makes me want more </3
-Squall, I'm one of the more sophisticated members of this site. Feel free to message me if you run into any problems here.
Spoiler for Hidden Content:
Feel free to check out the story I'm writing! http://totalminerforums.net/index.php?topic=366.0