Hihi all ^_^
I am sorry for my sudden abstinence over 5 years ago. Things happened beyond my control and I was forced to leave. However today I can finally come back and explain my abstinence, or at lest part of it. You see there are 2 reasons I was gone, one I can explain, the other will have to wait as I am not aloud yet to talk about it.
Anywho to not make this a novel I will try to keep it short and to the point. Long ago something bad happened to me on the forums, to a normal person it would be "life sucks get over it" but sadly I am no where near normal. I have a lot of mental problems that I was unaware of and this event triggered them (note the event is not the 2nd reason I can not talk about yet). With this I quickly spiraled out of control and went down a dark hole that seemed to never end.
To say I stopped functioning normally is an understatement, I was barley alive. Many many suicide attempts and many many extended hospital stays for years was the normal for me. I could barley take care of my self, it was mostly nurses that kept me alive. Trough this time I was on a number of meds and different treatments. Nothing seemed to work and things seemed at an end for me.
Luckily thou one day things just fell into place, and I was somewhat able to get things together. Mind you I am still no where near a functioning adult, but I was also not a complete defenseless kitten any more. I am on a more stable group of meds now. I also regularly see doctors and therapists to help with things. I am also very blessed to have a loving family that has been with me the whole way.
Along the way I learned about some of my quirks. Apparently I have (forgive me I do not know the exact terminology) extreme depression, crippling anxiety, super schizophrenia, some forum of autism, and some kinda learning disorder (explains why school was so damn hard), memory issues and a couple other things I am not getting into now. I'm on meds for the depression anxiety and schizophrenia. I was on even more meds at one point for the schizo, but my liver somethings were to high or something and they had to take me off some. I keep begging them to up my depression meds......but they are reluctant to because of my liver tests or something.
Anywho as of today things are not going well for me, yea I am on meds for most of my problems (at lest the ones there are meds for), but they come with serious side effects. Some of witch are having to consistently be careful of what I eat because weight gain is a serious issue from some of the meds, I can never drink alcohol, I sleep for most of the day, I get dizzy and light headed a lot, my teeth and jaw hurt NONSTOP from the schizo meds, I was on meds for the side effects of the shcizo meds, but that dang liver.....and a couple other problems. I've also been declared permanently disabled by the US gov because I will never be able to work. Hell I do not think I can ever live on my own because I simply can not take care of my self, I struggle to do basic things like brush my teeth and shower, not because I do not want to, but because it is simply a struggle.
What brought me back here is that quad somehow tracked me down and got me to open up again. From there I am always being told to go do stuff I love because it will help with the depression. So I knew the happiest times of my life were when I was here with all my friends. So I wanted to come back and relive some of that. I could not even find the site at first because it simply does not who up in a search. Then I somehow found a reddit about the game and from there was contacted by Mecha about the site and the discord.
I am deeply sadden to see Craig lost his drive to do the game. I wish him nothing but the best and want to thank him for giving me the best years of my life. I am not surprised at all that almost no one is here. I am gonna try the discord for the game soon to see if people are still around, but I wanted to get this out here first so I do not need to explain it all in chat.
As a side note because I am on disability now and the pay is a ****ing joke, I do not have regular access to a computer. When I do have access it is generally for limited times. So even thou I am back do not expect to see me on all the time, but I will be on when I can.
I hope to see and talk to you all soon,
Agykoo ^_^! (hugs!)