Living with Tourettes: The Early Years

[Jared]

DISCLAIMER! Everything you are about to read is 100% true, and some readings may be uncomfortable for the reader! You've been warned! Please understand names have been changed. Thank you!

Tourette Syndrome, a neurological disorder characterized by involuntary tics and vocalizations and often the compulsive utterance of obscenities. In more of a logic sense, a disease that tells your brain to make random noises or spasms. Keep in mind that while all this is occurring the individual who has Tourette’s is unable to stop. Once it starts, it can take anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes to regain control and tell your brain to stop. Those who are unlucky to be diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome are in for a rough lifestyle. The sudden spasms, movements, or sounds that come with Tourette’s are called tics. I, unfortunately, am not referring to the ectoparasites that get off on sucking the blood from mammals, birds, reptiles, and amphibians. At least with ticks you can kill them and watch them die; however, with tics, they slowly make you a slave from within your body by pulling strings on your brain, thus making you perform anytime like a puppet.

March 18, 2008, is a date that haunts my memories and continues to ruin any goodnights I have. I blame this day for the day in which my Tourette symptoms occurred. Saying this must sound weird because studies show that Tourette syndrome is a genetic condition, which means it's passed down from a person's parents. Tourette syndrome is not contagious, and you can't catch it from someone who has it. Tourette symptoms can start occurring anytime throughout your life. Yes, it is true, however, the older you are, the rarer it will begin to show. I still blame the primary cause of my Tourette’s from that treacherous day.

March 18, 2008, I was in fourth grade and it school was within reach of being over! School was going to be over in late May and survived 75% of fourth grade already, so we were ready to finish up the remaining 25%. I just finished up school for the day and was being picked up at my bus stopped by my best friend Skylar and his family. Skylar and I had known for six years because we were neighbors when I first moved to West Virginia. The plan for the day because we had the next day of school off because they were calling for more snow. It had previously snowed, so the roads were already bad enough; however, Skylar and I have been planning to hang out for weeks, and we were 110% set on having a relaxing day. His house was about 20 minutes from mine so as we left mine it was about 4:30 pm. Around 4:35 pm it started to snow extremely hard which worried all of us in the vehicle. The vehicle held a total of five of us. In the front was Skylar's parents while in the back was Skylar, me, and his older douchelemon of a brother, Kyle. A few more minutes pass, and it gets worse with mountains of snow blocking our view. I am terrified because before I moved to Martinsburg, I lived in Gerrardstown in the high mountains.

Hopefully, all of you should know, driving down a mountain can be stressful enough; however, when you add icy roads and powdery snow to the mix with a tad bit of rain what type of equation is that? It's a minimal surface equation because it has a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Just looking at it makes your brain deflate faster than a child's smile immediately after you tell them the truth about the myth of Santa Clause. What happened next changed who'd I become as a person and was the start of the possible existence of my Tourette's and the start of horrid nightmares that would wake me up in the middle of the night screaming and crying.

As we were heading down the mountain, the car lost control. The lack of vision and the slippery roads caused an effect that the vehicle could not overcome. It went off the road and started a crash course down the mountain hitting trees, breaking pieces of the car, and all I could hear was screaming and crying because I had my eyes closed. Suddenly, the car stopped rolling, and the screams became silent.  I kept my eyes closed as tightly as they could because I was not prepared to look at the aftermath. After a good ten seconds, I regained control of my sense to feel, hear, and smell. I felt snow and fear on my skin because my guess was the window beside me broke thus letting snow from the outside enter the car. I heard cries of both Skylar's parents and sensed they were in great pain because of the noises they were making. Out of all five senses I wished I never regained the sight to smell because it smelled like death and depression. Two scents that you never want to experience and having done so made me tear up like I just tasted liquid NyQuil.

As I opened my eyes, I saw chaos in the car. Windows broken, supplies everywhere and as I looked around only four people were in the car. Skylar's door was open, and he was nowhere to be found. Skylar's mom told me to stay put; however, my mind was not in my body. My mind was back at the top of the mountain 50ft back up the hill. A few moments later Skylar's dad called the police as well as the crowd of pedestrians who witnessed the accident at the top of the mountain started to come down to help out. Suddenly a blistering scream was heard not far from my seat. As I tried to get up and investigate, my legs were bleeding. Not hard, but the glass from my window must've injured me a bit more than I realized. I managed to crawl out of the door that was already open from the crash and immediately noticed blood in the snow. Looking further up from the blood confirmed my suspensions. I wish I kept my eyes closed!

Soon after, helped arrived and got us a tiny bit of help that we needed. It was not until I was on the way to the hospital where I was informed of Skylar's conditions. They told me that when the car fell off the road and down the mountain, he did not have his seatbelt fastened. I started to imagine his lifeless body being tossed around the car like a sock puppet. They continued to inform me that he had suffered significant brain damage and may need to be put on life support. I was in shock. I could not cry, talk, or show any sense of emotion. After a moment of regaining my body controls, I ask how he managed to get where he was when he collapsed. They were unable to answer because we just arrived at the hospital and told me to lay on the stretcher and to relax. One even combed my hair back with their hand and wiping a little bit of blood from my head.

I learned later that day that Skylar died of brain damage. Skylar's dad told me this as he came into my room to check on me. He had a few bruises on his face, but he looked defeated. He had the right to though because he not only survived a car crashed but he lost his youngest son. "I'm sorry about Skylar. I blame myself for the whole thing. I should have waited a week or even a day. I killed my best friend. I killed my brother. I am sorry Mr. Parsons (Not there actual last name)." He started to cry on my shoulder and told me it was not my fault. It was nobody's fault and that I should never assume that I was the reason for his death. His death was an accident. Skylar's father said these words to me that I have not forgotten all these years, "Skylar was called upon to serve in the eyes of Jesus Christ. Even Christ needs friends, and he chose the best one yet." I can remember Skylar's last words to me almost every day because his words always haunt my dreams. "Kind of a bad day to hang out, eh JareBear?" Just moments after him saying that the crash happened and I lost the closest person that I knew in an instant. No goodbyes, no sorry's, just seeing him lifeless in the snow bleeding.

[Lord Leo]

Bro, this was deep, I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[Jesse]

Holy Cr*p Jared that must of been extremely hard i cant even imagine something like that to happen to me or anyone. That is insane i was in my first car wreck just this year and it was a small one sure air bags came out but still everyone came out ok. But me just being in the small accident there no joke they can be painful and sometimes damaging to your health. I was the one who got air bag in the face my face didn't feel to good after that. Hurt my arm a little but nothing a body cant get over. But like i said i cant even begin to imagine losing a friend or family member. I'm sorry that happened and i never knew that happened to you. Good thing everyone else is okay though.

[Jared]

Bro, this was deep, I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Holy Cr*p Jared that must of been extremely hard i cant even imagine something like that to happen to me or anyone. That is insane i was in my first car wreck just this year and it was a small one sure air bags came out but still everyone came out ok. But me just being in the small accident there no joke they can be painful and sometimes damaging to your health. I was the one who got air bag in the face my face didn't feel to good after that. Hurt my arm a little but nothing a body cant get over. But like i said i cant even begin to imagine losing a friend or family member. I'm sorry that happened and i never knew that happened to you. Good thing everyone else is okay though.

Thank you both. March 18 is a day that I use to stay away from all. That day would and usually still haunts me. I never have flashbacks unless it's March 18. Every year it gets worse and more intense like I am reliving the moment. Driving has always been a fear for me and it's something that I've always wanted to overcome, but haven't. I haven't because I always fear that it will happen again.

[Jesse]

Bro, this was deep, I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Holy Cr*p Jared that must of been extremely hard i cant even imagine something like that to happen to me or anyone. That is insane i was in my first car wreck just this year and it was a small one sure air bags came out but still everyone came out ok. But me just being in the small accident there no joke they can be painful and sometimes damaging to your health. I was the one who got air bag in the face my face didn't feel to good after that. Hurt my arm a little but nothing a body cant get over. But like i said i cant even begin to imagine losing a friend or family member. I'm sorry that happened and i never knew that happened to you. Good thing everyone else is okay though.

Thank you both. March 18 is a day that I use to stay away from all. That day would and usually still haunts me. I never have flashbacks unless it's March 18. Every year it gets worse and more intense like I am reliving the moment. Driving has always been a fear for me and it's something that I've always wanted to overcome, but haven't. I haven't because I always fear that it will happen again.

I bet, Overcoming a fear is challenging and sometimes can be embarrassing i'm glad you could share the fear its the first step in the right direction. I hope you can one day overcome your fear and live life in a good feeling. Whenever you need someone to chat to or anything hit me up bro.

[Nefty]

Just read this thread. Truly amazing, tragic, inspiring. The loss of life is truly an awful thing but Im sure you're stronger from it.

[Jared]

Just read this thread. Truly amazing, tragic, inspiring. The loss of life is truly an awful thing but Im sure you're stronger from it.

Thank you. I cherish all my friendships because you never know when or if that friendship will abruptly end.