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Author Topic:  Thought I'd let you know what's going on..  (Read 1769 times)

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TheDestinedCrab

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Thought I'd let you know what's going on..
« on: March 20, 2018, 02:26:37 AM »
Hi.

I'm sure you're aware that I've recently been inactive on both the forums and the discord as well as pretty much every other form of social media. I've recently been having a hard time and I thought I'd let you know why. If you do not consider yourself to be very mature then please do not continue reading.

Those of you that might recognise me as my old gamer tag 'dead dude' are likely to have known me for a long time. I joined this place way too early, admittedly, which gave me a bad start due to my immaturity. A few years passed by and I was still the immature kid that really wasn't a necessary asset to the forums. I'm sorry for being an idiot then and I hope you can see me as the person I am now.

So, what's my whole post about? Well about 6 months ago I was in the lowest place I could possibly be. I had no friends, I begged for attention and was bullied. I isolated myself from the whole world tbh and that includes my internet friends. I grew distant with everyone and eventually stopped talking. At the beginning of them 6 months I'd found a way go cope with the stress I was going through which probably wasn't the best option. I chose self harm. Without going into too much detail my legs and arms still have cuts because self harm is not only a way to cope but it's kinda like an addiction.

A few weeks ago I was caught trying to commit suicide by my mum. I live in a three story house and was about to jump from the highest point possible - I was sure I'd die. My mum found me anyway and sat me downstairs. Since then I've been getting worse emotionally and began to hate myself alot. About 2 weeks ago I ran away from home for about 6 and a half hours before police got me (I rang them because my friend was scared about me).

So all of this stress and chaos, school decided to step in. I had a meeting with safeguarding who is setting up a counselling thing for me relatively soon which should help. I still self harm, I am not the boy I used to be. I want to apologize for my inactivity and any time I've sounded rude lately.

This is not a cry for help! I'm recieving the help I need. Please do not reply to this thread if you are going to act like an idiot or try and make me feel worse about myself. This was made for venting and just to let you guys know what is actually going on with me.

Thank you.
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Not Actually Atlas

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Re: Thought I'd let you know what's going on..
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2018, 03:07:58 AM »
Well Dustin, I pm'd you. I am glad to see you are okay. Please message me back when you get a chance.


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crazytater94

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Re: Thought I'd let you know what's going on..
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2018, 12:36:42 PM »
I've been through depression and suicidal thoughts when I was younger, and I can tell you from experience, life gets way better. You just need to focus on what makes you happy. For me, it was focusing on my talents, playing total miner and getting really good at it, making a few really bad videos about it, focusing on my art, and eventually taking up tattooing. Some days, I'm sure everyone feels like it would be easier to let go, but eventually, those thoughts all pass, and you find that there's a lot more you want to live for, rather than taking the quick and easy way out.


And just a side note, the jumping isn't a great way, since people have lived from jumping from a plane without a parachute and became paralyzed. Don't jump.

Jesse

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Re: Thought I'd let you know what's going on..
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2018, 03:19:22 PM »
I've been through depression and suicidal thoughts when I was younger, and I can tell you from experience, life gets way better. You just need to focus on what makes you happy. For me, it was focusing on my talents, playing total miner and getting really good at it, making a few really bad videos about it, focusing on my art, and eventually taking up tattooing. Some days, I'm sure everyone feels like it would be easier to let go, but eventually, those thoughts all pass, and you find that there's a lot more you want to live for, rather than taking the quick and easy way out.


And just a side note, the jumping isn't a great way, since people have lived from jumping from a plane without a parachute and became paralyzed. Don't jump.
I have also been through some really low point's in life granted i am diagnosed with depression and anxiety. But life gets better eventually just gotta stick to it. My recent low was over the summer were i also questioned what life was. Now i have a job graduating school soon and doing youtube on a weekly schedule again. So i am very high up in self esteem currently. I honestly think that's why i think i talk more clearly in my videos. Don't ever do anything stupid. If you need anyone to get stuff off your chest I'm sure many forum members can understand as well as feel free to contact me. Can't guaranteed i would be an amazing help. But i go through those feelings a lot in a 12month calendar year.


No need to apologies for previous actions as we all make mistakes just got to get up brush off the mistake and move on. Many members have had rocky starts here and now get a long with everyone.


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TheDestinedCrab

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Re: Thought I'd let you know what's going on..
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2018, 11:27:59 PM »
I've been through depression and suicidal thoughts when I was younger, and I can tell you from experience, life gets way better. You just need to focus on what makes you happy. For me, it was focusing on my talents, playing total miner and getting really good at it, making a few really bad videos about it, focusing on my art, and eventually taking up tattooing. Some days, I'm sure everyone feels like it would be easier to let go, but eventually, those thoughts all pass, and you find that there's a lot more you want to live for, rather than taking the quick and easy way out.


And just a side note, the jumping isn't a great way, since people have lived from jumping from a plane without a parachute and became paralyzed. Don't jump.

Without going into too much detail I considered alot other than jumping but jumping would honestly seem like my best bet. Anyway, staying positive I went to a counselling place on Tuesday who literally just said I'm too dangerous for myself and just referred me to CAMHS. (The main counselling place in the UK)

That's my third referral. My parents referred me along with the police as well. Hopefully when CAMHS have a space for me their counselling will help me feel better.
 
I've been through depression and suicidal thoughts when I was younger, and I can tell you from experience, life gets way better. You just need to focus on what makes you happy. For me, it was focusing on my talents, playing total miner and getting really good at it, making a few really bad videos about it, focusing on my art, and eventually taking up tattooing. Some days, I'm sure everyone feels like it would be easier to let go, but eventually, those thoughts all pass, and you find that there's a lot more you want to live for, rather than taking the quick and easy way out.


And just a side note, the jumping isn't a great way, since people have lived from jumping from a plane without a parachute and became paralyzed. Don't jump.
I have also been through some really low point's in life granted i am diagnosed with depression and anxiety. But life gets better eventually just gotta stick to it. My recent low was over the summer were i also questioned what life was. Now i have a job graduating school soon and doing youtube on a weekly schedule again. So i am very high up in self esteem currently. I honestly think that's why i think i talk more clearly in my videos. Don't ever do anything stupid. If you need anyone to get stuff off your chest I'm sure many forum members can understand as well as feel free to contact me. Can't guaranteed i would be an amazing help. But i go through those feelings a lot in a 12month calendar year.


No need to apologies for previous actions as we all make mistakes just got to get up brush off the mistake and move on. Many members have had rocky starts here and now get a long with everyone.

Thankyou for the support. It means alot to know that you are happy to help. Hope you are feeling better now Jesse.




I'll likely just monologue about my life in this thread as things go on :P

Thanks for the support
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TheDestinedCrab

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Hospital Admission: Please read
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2018, 08:04:03 AM »
Hi guys!

I'm so sorry that I've been inactive for the last 3-ish months. I'm currently an inpatient at a mental health ward. I've wanted to contact you all but found myself in an impossible situation! Anyway long story short I tried to take my own life following a serious mental health deterioration. Again, I'm not asking for sympathy nor hate comments because of my so called 'simple life of a 15 year old.' I'm just letting you all know the barebones of what's been going on.

Sorry for my absence, I'm still impatient at the ward incase you were wondering so I might not be quite as active as I'd hope to be. I hope you're all okay, any questions feel free to ask but anything too personal I might not answer. Hoping to get back to playing with you all soon!

Crab /crab
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Jesse

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Re: Thought I'd let you know what's going on..
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2018, 02:29:43 PM »
Don't worry about us worry about your self and get better dude. We are all here and will be ready to meet a full and powerful crab ready to catch the ocean waves and get building. Get well soon my dude. :)


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TheDestinedCrab

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Re: Thought I'd let you know what's going on..
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2018, 10:40:22 AM »
Don't worry about us worry about your self and get better dude. We are all here and will be ready to meet a full and powerful crab ready to catch the ocean waves and get building. Get well soon my dude. :)

Cheers! Hopefully I'll be a brand new person when I get out! Hehe. Looking forward to it. Thanks again :)
Thanks Gold Knight for the amazing sig!

Lunar

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Re: Thought I'd let you know what's going on..
« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2018, 12:48:54 PM »
Im glad to see youre still with us, i couldnt imagine losing one of the community members, especially such a young one