Ignorance is Bliss
“Perfection is the result of success, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence;” a modified quote originally from Colin Powell. Being a successful student is a hard task for many but I know I can endure it with my talents I’ve acquired over my past two decades on this world. In order to achieve such a title I’ve had to charm many people I’ve come across such as my old teachers and fellow classmates. In order to charm my peers, I had to show that I’m naturally superior than they are in an academic standing, proving I’m the best what I am trying to achieve. I am only human though and my brain sometimes makes mistakes. Luckily, I’m able to come up with quick solutions immediately after a problem surfaces. With these skills spread in front of me, it’s rather obvious that I am a perfect student in the eyes of my peers and professors alike. To achieve such prestige, I had to focus on many key attributes, my charming personality, my striving to be the best at what I do and my lightning quick skills of improvisation.
To climb to the top of the world takes more than hard work and trying my best; I have to gain the trust of others and use them for my own personal gain. Using my charming personality, I’ve gained the trust of many of my professors and past teachers to believe I am not only an academically incline genius but their academically incline genius. Using such cannon fodder as “you are seriously my most favorite teacher I’ve ever had” and “your class has helped me out so much and taught me many useful thing,” I gain the trust of them and made them feel like I’m more of a friend rather than a student. This causes me to gain their trust as well as their curbed grade. My senior year of high school, my physiology teacher loved me and thought I was the pupil of call her classes. I told her she was my favorite teacher out of all that I’ve had and she really had a huge impact on my life. While doing this, I completely bombed my final and needed a bump up on my grade. One of the perks of having a teacher wrapped around your finger is she will be more susceptible to your reasons as to why you did horrible on your final. I talked to her and blamed the class for its loud intrusions as she hated the class even more then I. Low and behold, I had I higher grade then I should have which in return, brought up my GPA. As this can help me greatly on my unrelenting path to graduation, I feel my “oh so sweet words” help me get away with more than my average peers. As many professor act like they don’t care that old sweet granny fell down and broke her hip, most in fact do have a heart and will be lenient if I do everything I’m asked with a smile and a polite “thank you”. As one once might have said, “it’s not truth that matters. What matters is just how believable my hook is.” Suckering my professors into believing a sad satire is one of the keys to excelling at my lovely university. Like Nigel Thornberry, My “smashing” linguistic skills will in fact get me through many trials I have yet to encounter on this road to become an academic scholar.
“Naega jeil jal naga.” Translated from Korean to English is I am the best. This lyric is sung by CL from 2NE1 in the song “I am the best.” Profusely studying to know as much as I can, showing signs of improvement and surpassing my peers is what would make me the best. I find it especially fun knowing that I am better than others at a certain skill, topic or study. It is one of my own little competitions to outdo anyone I come across and learn from their mistakes as I rarely make ones of my own. I always pay attention to my peers and study my rivals. During my senior year in my World History class, my peers were having trouble with their homework. Looking for opportunities, I quickly hopped on my chance to gain some new followers to my cause. Being the best in this class at the subject, the classmate flocked to my help and in return, I’d be able to study them and see how they stack up with my own aspirations. I was able to gain new pawns to use to help if I needed any help on a suit they were strong at. The ability to be best at whatever I partake in keen to being the best as if someone is better than me, then I can’t truly reach my nirvana. Whenever a person finds out how great I am, I can gain their friendship and expand my tree of useful pawns I can call upon at some time in my life. This is useful to reach my peak at SIUE as going alone in this world is quite an imposing task.
To improvise is good but to improvise well is a completely different matter in itself. As I am only a human, unfortunately, I am prone to forgetting simple facts. After all, walking into a class that has an assignment due when I arrive can only spell bad news bears for the more common improviser who would most likely state “my dog ate my homework.” For the masters of improvisation, it goes a bit further. With my solid improvising skills, I can make up a reason why I don’t have what is due. My honey words will turn this crude professor into my “brofessor” and the tear calling story will surly turn his heart to mush before myself. I had an essay due my junior year English III class one day. I haven’t even started on it due to the new call of duty coming out a few days prior. Walking into class I asked to use the downstairs restroom before class started. Using my lightning face improvising skills, I threw myself down the stairs breaking my arm and any chance I had being in the class to turn in that essay. When they looked at the cameras, they said it looked like I did it on purpose. Needless to say I improvised and plead I got light headed and everything went black. Improvising is more of an art then a tool and I can use it can reap rewards of fortune, fame and glory. If I have an assignment due the next day such as a draft, I can make up a gross amount of facts that would be asked for me to encompass in the essay. Myself doing this and a tad bit of jazz, I can create a masterpiece that will surly please my teachers and anyone who happens to review such wondrous work.
A skill is only as good as the person who wields them. I happen to be as close as there is to an Olympian God with my superior intellect, knowledge to judge events accordingly and suave persuasion skills. I bare the right to use my skills as I see accordingly to succeed in this world for I am the only one who knows what I want to accomplish in this existence. In the future, I see myself being the head nurse at a hospital as I am more than capable. As a perfect vessel, I am furthermore capable of doing anything tasked to myself with a passion drawn from my soul like no other. I will do what I am assigned with extreme thought and revision. It is one thing to think I’m doing something correctly but it’s the right thing to know I’m doing something perfectly. As I type these very words onto another masterpiece I am sure I’ll get full credit for yet another assignment. The skill I bring to the tables of my University call only be described as one word and that word is perfection! After all if I wasn’t perfect why wouldn’t I be so confident in my own words? To sum everything up, my talents gifted to me are my own and I will use them to climb to the top of the SIUE ladder of academic achievement and claim the fruits it has to bare. My goals are set in stone and I will dash my competition with a fury like no other as the flame in my heart burns strong and the embers won’t burn out until my body does. I want all my peers and professors who read my work to strive to be more like me and take all my examples and attributes to heart. The more people like me in this world, the better it would be for all of us.
An Essay by ~Sarkasist