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General => Fun House => Topic started by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 05:57:49 PM

Title: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 05:57:49 PM
(http://i68.tinypic.com/2qly4b6.jpg)

Some of us, some of us are truly guilty for certain things. Certain vices keep us from our true potential. But if there is one thing I have learned on this planet, it's this: Skooma is the best thing EVER MADE EVER.

I am a Skooma Eater, and this is my confession. I welcome all Skooma Eaters/Smokers/Producers. No one shall be turned away from this safe haven of decadence with that all mighty combination of Moon Sugar and Nightshade. One can almost...almost taste it.

KNOWN SKOOMA FIENDS:

  • Jack Of Shades
  • Trüb
  • Ravenclaw
  • Clark (Verification Required)
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Dryym on August 14, 2016, 06:00:08 PM
Nightshade... Sounds dangerous.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 06:01:13 PM
Nightshade... Sounds dangerous delicious!
There ya go, fixed that for you. You clearly haven't tried the 2 parts Nightshade 1 part Moon Sugar concoction Trub and I made up. It's marvelous!
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Dryym on August 14, 2016, 06:04:56 PM
Nightshade... Sounds dangerous delicious!
There ya go, fixed that for you. You clearly haven't tried the 2 parts Nightshade 1 part Moon Sugar concoction Trub and I made up. It's marvelous!

I don't know, Every book I've ever read that involved nightshade berries, Or even the plant itself has said that they are extremely toxic.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 06:08:24 PM
I don't know, Every book I've ever read that involved nightshade berries, Or even the plant itself has said that they are extremely toxic.
Well, we are making Skooma. It's not exactly a 'healthy' thing to digest. Just really amazing, ya know...like most illegal narcotics. 8)
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: TheDestinedCrab on August 14, 2016, 06:12:25 PM
D..did someone say.. SKOOMA!!! CAN I HAVE SOME PLEASE..? ALL THE PRODUCERS TELL ME I HAVE AN ADDICTION AND THEY WONT GUVE ME ANY!! I NEED SKOOMA!!!
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 06:15:16 PM
D..did someone say.. SKOOMA!!! CAN I HAVE SOME PLEASE..? ALL THE PRODUCERS TELL ME I HAVE AN ADDICTION AND THEY WONT GUVE ME ANY!! I NEED SKOOMA!!!
That's the reason why, man. You gotta learn PARTIAL self-control. Once you establish some decent funds, and begin construction, you can have as MUCH AS YOU WANT! Won't that be fun!? :D
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: TheDestinedCrab on August 14, 2016, 06:17:19 PM
D..did someone say.. SKOOMA!!! CAN I HAVE SOME PLEASE..? ALL THE PRODUCERS TELL ME I HAVE AN ADDICTION AND THEY WONT GUVE ME ANY!! I NEED SKOOMA!!!
That's the reason why, man. You gotta learn PARTIAL self-control. Once you establish some decent funds, and begin construction, you can have as MUCH AS YOU WANT! Won't that be fun!? :D

So, i have to be realistic, and actually PAY for my skooma.. Did i hear that right? PAY.. P-A-Y? Damn, you have to pay for everything these days..
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 06:20:16 PM
So, i have to be realistic, and actually PAY for my skooma.. Did i hear that right? PAY.. P-A-Y? Damn, you have to pay for everything these days..
I don't pay for ANY of my Skooma. You create a plant, force your workers to make it, and then steal it from others. NO LOSS! You literally have an endless supply of Skooma. Sort of..
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: TheDestinedCrab on August 14, 2016, 06:23:18 PM
So, i have to be realistic, and actually PAY for my skooma.. Did i hear that right? PAY.. P-A-Y? Damn, you have to pay for everything these days..
I don't pay for ANY of my Skooma. You create a plant, force your workers to make it, and then steal it from others. NO LOSS! You literally have an endless supply of Skooma. Sort of..

Really?? Im gonna try that..

How do you buy a skooma plant though.. I mean.. WalMart doesnr sell them because they are illegal..
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 06:26:27 PM
See, now we come to the hard part. Trub and I had to learn to do this by trial and error. We cannot divulge our secrets as they may yield different results to what you expect. Not to mention, it's best to not TELL people where your plant is. Otherwise, WE GON COME STEAL IT!
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: TheDestinedCrab on August 14, 2016, 06:28:35 PM


Quote from: Jack Of Shades on Today at 11:26:27 (http://totalminerforums.net/index.php?topic=17518.msg182644#msg182644)<blockquote>See, now we come to the hard part. Trub and I had to learn to do this by trial and error. We cannot divulge our secrets as they may yield different results to what you expect. Not to mention, it's best to not TELL people where your plant is. Otherwise, WE GON COME STEAL IT!
</blockquote><blockquote>Stuff this *orders skooma plant off DarkNet*</blockquote><blockquote>
</blockquote><blockquote>Ahhahahahahhahaha SKOOOMA!!</blockquote>

Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Dryym on August 14, 2016, 06:53:55 PM
I don't know, Every book I've ever read that involved nightshade berries, Or even the plant itself has said that they are extremely toxic.
Well, we are making Skooma. It's not exactly a 'healthy' thing to digest. Just really amazing, ya know...like most illegal narcotics. 8)

No worse than Ichor, I bet.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 06:57:07 PM
Probably not. However, it gives such a feeling of euphoria!
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Brother Claw on August 14, 2016, 07:11:24 PM
I have to say something... I... am addicted to Skooma as well. Please add me to the list.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 07:21:40 PM
I have to say something... I... am addicted to Skooma as well. Please add me to the list.
What was your first experience like, and how did you get your hands on that sweet sweet nectar?
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Brother Claw on August 14, 2016, 07:26:16 PM
I loved it. And I bought it from one of the khajiit merchants...
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 07:42:22 PM
See, they're weird about it. They typically like to carry Moon Sugar, Skooma isn't always their cup o' tea.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Brother Claw on August 14, 2016, 07:43:09 PM
This isn't good for a high elf like me... :(
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 08:06:22 PM
Basically, it's all about knowing where to go and who to talk to. Some people prefer the processed version of Moon Sugar. Others are just downright filthy and don't care how that rush reaches them.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Brother Claw on August 14, 2016, 08:08:35 PM
Skooma is great though. :)
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Lunar on August 14, 2016, 08:13:51 PM
I wouldnt say im addicted to Skooma, Id say I'm more of a trader for the people. Sure, Ill eat one of my patent pending Skooma filled pastries from time to time, which are delicious and cheap (buy them), but I definitely wouldnt say Im addicted, ok, well, maybe I am, but, you know what? That silky smooth texture as it glides down your throat makes it nearly irresistible. Now, back to my pastries, Skooma being a liquid would just pour out, correct? No! I add a few secret ingredients to make it a jelly like texture, and I usually make them colorful and pretty, or maybe thats just me seeing things after eating them, but theyre only 50 septim coins.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: The Gold Knight on August 14, 2016, 08:26:04 PM
But... don't you drink skooma, not eat it?
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Trubtavium Recordsmith VII on August 14, 2016, 08:35:37 PM
See, G'Kay. You're misunderstood. Sure we CAN drink it, but then there's the risk of spilling it and letting the McRibroaches in the factories consume it... Bad stuff man. Bad stuff. So using a secret step, we're able to solidify it and make it a finger food.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 08:54:59 PM
But... don't you drink skooma, not eat it?
Some people also don't know this, but you can smoke it too!
Out of this:
(https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.Mc209dcaad025bc44e5890aa7fc181b0eH0&pid=15.1)
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Panther on August 14, 2016, 09:33:35 PM
I like the Red Water Skooma better.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 14, 2016, 09:41:36 PM
You should see the stuff Trub and I are making. Lorkhans Tear Skooma. Make you cry like a little baby from how good it is.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: TheDestinedCrab on August 15, 2016, 04:08:10 AM
OMG RavenClaw.. What did you do to your Sig? Lol
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Brother Claw on August 15, 2016, 04:46:40 PM
I just added the word "Skooma" to it a bunch of times
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Dryym on August 15, 2016, 05:08:27 PM
What even is moon sugar?
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Lunar on August 15, 2016, 05:16:36 PM
The title of this post is "Confessions of a Skooma EATER", and given the fact that it doesn't say drinker, I'd be the only one who has participated.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 15, 2016, 05:17:58 PM
Moon Sugar is a grainy powder of small white crystals refined from cane grasses of Elsweyr's coasts and estuaries. Used as a spice in Elsweyr, it has modest magical properties, and is also a potent narcotic - illegal in 3E Morrowind and the rest of the Empire. It is commonly refined into a more potent and addictive form known as Skooma. Humans, it seems, are even more susceptible to the effects of moon-sugar than the catmen themselves, and travelers to Elsweyr are thus cautioned against partaking of any of the sugar-loaded native food.

source: http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Moon_Sugar <--- the only reliable source for Elder Scrolls ANYTHING.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Panther on August 15, 2016, 07:37:01 PM
*Drinks 10 bottles of Skooma*
Better than that Honeybrew Mead.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 15, 2016, 07:39:49 PM
*Drinks 10 bottles of Skooma*
Better than that Honeybrew Mead.
And Blackbriar.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Panther on August 15, 2016, 07:41:24 PM
*Drinks 10 bottles of Skooma*
Better than that Honeybrew Mead.
And Blackbriar.
Definitely.
Must think about some new Skooma recipes. 8)
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Not Actually Atlas on August 15, 2016, 11:39:10 PM
*Drinks 10 bottles of Skooma*
Better than that Honeybrew Mead.
And Blackbriar.
Definitely.
Must think about some new Skooma recipes. 8)
I actually have a pretty amazing skooma recipes. Mix together Canis Root, Swamp Fungal Pod, and Juniper Berries. Then mix in some moon sugar. You will be able to feel everything around you so clearly, but you won't be able to move.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 15, 2016, 11:55:16 PM
I did have this rare batch once. Stole it from Oblivion. It was made with Moon Sugar, Nightshade, Daedra Heart, and Daedroth Tooth. Word of warning: Do other forms of Skooma before this. It's like smoking weed and then immediately jumping to Acid right after. Best to just simply work your way up if you ever witness this amazing concoction.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Panther on August 16, 2016, 11:30:11 AM
I once drank Skooma out of a Nord named Daniel`s white shoes.
You should add me on the list.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Lunar on August 16, 2016, 12:17:15 PM
That is so old, and pretty cringey, do you even know what Skooma is? And why is your profile based off of that awful/old trend?s
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Trubtavium Recordsmith VII on August 16, 2016, 02:54:43 PM
Oi. Can you piss off with your negativity m8. Can you piss off with your judgemental attitude m8? Let us enjoy our goddamn Skooma you negative Nancy. You judgmental Jerry.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Panther on August 16, 2016, 05:46:17 PM
Oi. Can you piss off with your negativity m8. Can you piss off with your judgemental attitude m8? Let us enjoy our goddamn Skooma you negative Nancy. You judgmental Jerry.
Exactly. Leave us in peace.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jakub34 on August 16, 2016, 08:26:51 PM
Skooma is for scrubs. Get a life u nubs. All hail the holy watermelon juice.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Lunar on August 16, 2016, 10:08:20 PM
Dear Craig,

         It seems as so a hacker has infiltrated user Jakub34 and has done some radical stuff that I expect you can take care of? Either way, the hacker must be exterminated from the poor mans account. Think about it, you're leaning back in your office chair, when all the sudden your computer restarts. When you get back on, you cant log in to your forum account, then you go scroll through to see what happened as a Guest. Only to see the disgusting hacker has said Skooma is for "scrubs"?! Yeah, I don't think so, I know no true member would say such a horrific statement.

                                           - Scripts a.k.a I'm TRIGGERED
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Lunar on August 16, 2016, 10:12:13 PM
also, what the frashnizzle is watermelon jooce?
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 16, 2016, 11:05:30 PM
Skooma is for scrubs. Get a life u nubs. All hail the holy watermelon juice.
Get the hell out of here before I smack all 23 pairs of Chromosomes out of you! D: <
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Panther on August 17, 2016, 07:43:35 PM
Skooma is for scrubs. Get a life u nubs. All hail the holy watermelon juice.
We should throw you to the dragon.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Brother Claw on August 17, 2016, 08:01:45 PM
feed him to alduin
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Dryym on August 18, 2016, 07:33:28 AM
Skooma is for scrubs. Get a life u nubs. All hail the holy watermelon juice.
We should throw you to the dragon.

can I haz dragon?
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Panther on August 18, 2016, 09:01:16 AM
Skooma is for scrubs. Get a life u nubs. All hail the holy watermelon juice.
We should throw you to the dragon.
-_- I don't think he likes you Dryym.

can I haz dragon?
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: TheDestinedCrab on August 18, 2016, 01:02:30 PM
If everyone is so open about their confessions...

I used toilet water to brush my teeth yesterday :D
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on August 18, 2016, 01:19:23 PM
(http://underratedretro.com/press/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/skooma.jpg)
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jakub34 on August 25, 2016, 09:27:16 PM
Jokes on all of you.

Back in February or March, at an indoor drumline competition me and my friend discussed how I own every chromosome in the universe and any others if they do.

Also I killed Alduin and made an Alduin omelette with the egg I found so good luck with that.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on September 18, 2016, 05:03:18 PM
Jokes on all of you.

Back in February or March, at an indoor drumline competition me and my friend discussed how I own every chromosome in the universe and any others if they do.

Also I killed Alduin and made an Alduin omelette with the egg I found so good luck with that.
That's some sick convoluted thinking you have there. -Hic- I think your problem is you've been free basing that crap they sell in Seyda Neen. It ain't Skooma, and it sure as HELL isn't Moon Sugar. You're just screwed every which way.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Not Actually Atlas on September 21, 2016, 03:42:56 AM
If everyone is so open about their confessions...

I used toilet water to brush my teeth yesterday :D
You have issues, Dustin
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jakub34 on October 02, 2016, 08:49:44 PM
Define "skooma"

A drink for nubs.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: TheDestinedCrab on October 03, 2016, 01:50:42 AM
If everyone is so open about their confessions...

I used toilet water to brush my teeth yesterday :D
You have issues, Dustin

Another issuse :

I ate so much skooma last night.. And casual was there with me...

Now i'm called Keith and he's Casual Cabbage :P
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on October 03, 2016, 01:29:29 PM

If everyone is so open about their confessions...

I used toilet water to brush my teeth yesterday :D
You have issues, Dustin

Another issuse :

I ate so much skooma last night.. And casual was there with me...

Now i'm called Keith and he's Casual Cabbage :P

Dammit, Dustin.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: TheDestinedCrab on October 03, 2016, 01:32:41 PM

If everyone is so open about their confessions...

I used toilet water to brush my teeth yesterday :D
You have issues, Dustin

Another issuse :

I ate so much skooma last night.. And casual was there with me...

Now i'm called Keith and he's Casual Carrot :P

Dammit, Dustin.

Please prefer my preferences. My preferences are that i prefer to prefered.

Also, i corrected myself above :P
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: cwmpryddig on October 04, 2016, 09:42:07 AM
MOOAR SKOOOMAAA!?!!!?!1
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Not Actually Atlas on November 01, 2016, 02:23:16 AM
I've got the skyrim remaster, I am making more of my homebrewed skooma.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on November 01, 2016, 03:49:20 AM
I've got the skyrim remaster, I am making more of my homebrewed skooma.
I did too. I'm going back to making my Windhelm Crack.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Not Actually Atlas on November 01, 2016, 07:09:50 AM
I've got the skyrim remaster, I am making more of my homebrewed skooma.
I did too. I'm going back to making my Windhelm Crack.
Good luck. I respect your art, just don't sling your stuff on my console or you'll end up at the bottom of the dead sea, ya dig?
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Jack Of Shades on November 01, 2016, 03:28:18 PM
I don't associate myself with Microsoft consoles anymore. So the line is clearly drawn and respected.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: Not Actually Atlas on November 01, 2016, 03:37:34 PM
I don't associate myself with Microsoft consoles anymore. So the line is clearly drawn and respected.
That's good. Now... Let us unleash hell.
Title: Re: Confessions Of A Skooma Eater
Post by: TheDestinedCrab on November 01, 2016, 05:14:10 PM
My skooma farm has been innactive for a while ::)

*Starts it up again*

Uhh.. You two! I'll give you £20 each if you harvest me some moon dust!