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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: Wumboist on October 06, 2015, 08:47:42 PM

Title: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Wumboist on October 06, 2015, 08:47:42 PM
I put this here after I posted it in the Adult Discussion because some people can't access it. Please, if one post is to be taken down, take down the one in the Adult Discussion. Thank you.

I struggle with very severe depression on a daily basis. Rather that be just plain out being depressed, or memory loss, or no appetite, you get what I mean. I have self harmed. I have attempted suicide. Take this from someone who by the slightest interaction months ago could have been dead now. It isn't worth it.

For those of you reading this who struggle with depression:

It may feel like no one cares about you, but trust me, they do. My dad didn't know about my issues with suicide for months until after it happened and he (being a very strong person who I have never seen cry) starts crying over it. Here's my thoughts on it. Suicide doesn't take away the pain, it just passes it on to others. Think of how devastated your friends and family would be if you died. I know it wouldn't be that much devastation in your eyes because depression convinces you no one cares, but trust this from a survivor. They do.

You have so much more to experience in life. Don't end it here, in a dying flare. End it when it is supposed to end, knowing you've experienced life to it's fullest extent. That, to me, is going out with a bang.

Get the last laugh on depression. Schedule a doctor's appointment, and get on some anti-depressants. You can win. I won. Depression isn't as strong as you think it is.

If you are depressed and would like to talk to someone who struggles with depression as well, privately or not, PM me on here, or for privacy message me on Xbox. Everything we will talk about no matter if you care about privacy or not will be confidential, and I'll always be there to talk and for support. My Gamertag is Wumboist.

Please, if you feel suicidal or that you might do something bad to yourself and/or others, call a help hotline.
Here is the one I know. If you Google search suicide hotline, it will give you the phone number for your local suicide hotline. They can help. Please trust me.

United States National Suicide Hotline: 1-(800)-273-8255


Thank you for reading. If anyone has any stories about depression and or suicide that they would like to share, here is the place for it. I will reply to any questions/comments/concerns as soon as possible.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Jesse on October 06, 2015, 10:33:35 PM
Hey
I am a suicidal thought servivor. When i was a child my dad abused me as a child. And boy did just that take a toll on my life. I was tought to hit as a child i use to punch the teacher in pre school. But it wasn't until 7th grade when depression hit me. One day in school i was just balling out. Becuase i was not fully aware of what thoughts were going through my head. Luckly a teacher noticed this sent me to a conseler. And my mom was called to the school to take me to the hospital. And i had to stay there for a day. So i when i got out i was better then before. My family was worried for me. And when i realized that it scared me. And still to this day i get depressed. But not terribly bad. But i worry of it comeing back. But i am also a suicidal survivor. Wumboist is correct seek help. Theres a reason you live theres a reason for everyone. Just got to pass the strugles.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Houndeye on October 06, 2015, 11:10:36 PM
In a matter of about 9 Months, I managed to build up about 2 years worth of depression. I commonly feel saddened, and the fact I get picked on, left out, and rejected doesn't help to the factor. Though yes I am currently depressed, suicide never came to mind. In fact, I want to live as long as possible. Suicide is never the answer. The answer is to search far and wide, for something that'll bring you back to your senses. I would go into more detail, but that's part of something I don't like talking about.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: .ok on October 06, 2015, 11:12:14 PM
:(
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Vexon X1 on October 06, 2015, 11:16:16 PM
Hey
I am a suicidal thought servivor. When i was a child my dad abused me as a child. And boy did just that take a toll on my life. I was tought to hit as a child i use to punch the teacher in pre school. But it wasn't until 7th grade when depression hit me. One day in school i was just balling out. Becuase i was not fully aware of what thoughts were going through my head. Luckly a teacher noticed this sent me to a conseler. And my mom was called to the school to take me to the hospital. And i had to stay there for a day. So i when i got out i was better then before. My family was worried for me. And when i realized that it scared me. And still to this day i get depressed. But not terribly bad. But i worry of it comeing back. But i am also a suicidal survivor. Wumboist is correct seek help. Theres a reason you live theres a reason for everyone. Just got to pass the strugles.
Many people don't Know this about me, But I was born with Life threatining Food Allergies to: Peanuts, treenuts, almonds, and chickpeas. its been hard living my life since then, but I work my way Around it. At three years old I was seconds away from death from a food allergy reaction, And Since then I have had to carry my Epipen, Its scary to know that My death could be around any corner espeacily at School, when kids tease me about my food allergies by waving Peanut butter sandwiches in my face. I was greatly depressed in elementry school, but Now I feel better after constant therapy, and Knowing, that I am not alone...As of 2015 I am enjoying my life, and am no-longer depressed, but eager to wait for the future! If anyone on this forums has food allergies, (Which I doubt), Let me know :) Ive seen my little brother get carried away in an ambulance cause of a reaction, (He has them too). Its really not pretty, You just have to find the bright things in life! Like All of you guys on this Forums! And my family, and friends :)

Thank you for reading this....:)
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: XdeathXreaperX1 on October 06, 2015, 11:51:48 PM
When i was 7 years old i used to get bullied by a lot of kids, they used to rip my work up and throw my lunch on the floor, and they even push me and when i try to get up they keep me down and tell me to say "I am a worthless piece of garbage and i don't deserve to live" it has been happening for 2 years, when i was 9 years old i wanted to end my life, so got a knife and started to cut my hand (i would have sliced my throat if i knew how to do it) so my mom walks in and rushed me to the hospital and i had to be there for 3 weeks, so we had to move because that school was like the worst school to be. When i got to my new school i befriended like 10 people a week because they were nice to me, and that's when i started to enjoy life.

thanks for reading...
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Wumboist on October 07, 2015, 11:43:49 AM
When i was 7 years old i used to get bullied by a lot of kids, they used to rip my work up and throw my lunch on the floor, and they even push me and when i try to get up they keep me down and tell me to say "I am a worthless piece of garbage and i don't deserve to live" it has been happening for 2 years, when i was 9 years old i wanted to end my life, so got a knife and started to cut my hand (i would have sliced my throat if i knew how to do it) so my mom walks in and rushed me to the hospital and i had to be there for 3 weeks, so we had to move because that school was like the worst school to be. When i got to my new school i befriended like 10 people a week because they were nice to me, and that's when i started to enjoy life.

thanks for reading...

To everyone who's had these things happen to them, you're not alone. I may not have been full out bullied, but I've been ignored, harassed, etc. Although, my girlfriend was bullied during her time in elementary and middle school. It really is tough. But you can survive.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Joel on October 07, 2015, 05:38:56 PM
Depression only happened if you make it happened.its not an illness to be cure by medicine.its the thought making you do this.whats really sad is when the person don't give himself or herself another chance instead they give up.

sorry if I sound strong here
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: crazytater94 on October 07, 2015, 06:32:33 PM
I used to be suicidal, from ages 9 to 18 I would attempt suicide. Be it a knife to my throat or a razor to my wrist, I never felt appreciated by my family or friends, I'm lucky to not be able to go through with it, because in graduation day of high school, I had the best applause out of the whole school. I was never told outright, how much people cared for me, and on that day, I found it out.

Still, my brothers treat me bad, but they are a-holes and I could care less about their opinions. I'm different, and I'm glad.

As far as depression, I cannot say if its just a state of mind, or a disease, but I can say that I went through it.


My advice, as well as Shakespeare's advice, its better to live in a world that you know, than to die and enter a world that could be tons worse. I've seen the miracles of god, blind able to see, injuries instantly healed, cancer gone, so I believe in a hell, and I'm fine here on earth until judgement day comes. Besides, I hear that suicide is an automatic out if you are heading for heaven.


I'd also like to mention my total miner friends and family that lift me up when I succeed, and catch me when I fall. I can bring my problems here, and get an answer that helps me 100% of the time. Thank you to all of those who have ever helped me, it literally means the world to me, because with out you guys, I would most likely not be here. You know who you are ;)
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Wumboist on October 07, 2015, 08:41:29 PM
Depression only happened if you make it happened.its not an illness to be cure by medicine.its the thought making you do this.whats really sad is when the person don't give himself or herself another chance instead they give up.

sorry if I sound strong here

Actually this is false. No offense, just stating facts.

Multiple studies and scientific experiments have proven that clinical depression is caused by (primarily) a chemical imbalance in the brain or other mental health issues which causes constant intense sadness. I'll link one.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression

"Itís often said that depression results from a chemical imbalance, but that figure of speech doesnít capture how complex the disease is. Research suggests that depression doesnít spring from simply having too much or too little of certain brain chemicals. Rather, depression has many possible causes, including faulty mood regulation by the brain, genetic vulnerability, stressful life events, medications, and medical problems. Itís believed that several of these forces interact to bring on depression." - Harvard University

To say that it is the person bringing themselves down would be true, but false at the same time. The person can't help these feelings, but it is caused by their brain.

Also, don't worry about sounding strong haha, you're fine.

(Modified: I added this after the post)

Plus, I can first-hand say medication does work for depression. I've been on anti-depressants for a year now, and I went from near suicide on a daily basis to a normal life again. It is a real solution, it does work. :)
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Wumboist on October 07, 2015, 08:46:07 PM
I used to be suicidal, from ages 9 to 18 I would attempt suicide. Be it a knife to my throat or a razor to my wrist, I never felt appreciated by my family or friends, I'm lucky to not be able to go through with it, because in graduation day of high school, I had the best applause out of the whole school. I was never told outright, how much people cared for me, and on that day, I found it out.

Still, my brothers treat me bad, but they are a-holes and I could care less about their opinions. I'm different, and I'm glad.

As far as depression, I cannot say if its just a state of mind, or a disease, but I can say that I went through it.


My advice, as well as Shakespeare's advice, its better to live in a world that you know, than to die and enter a world that could be tons worse. I've seen the miracles of god, blind able to see, injuries instantly healed, cancer gone, so I believe in a hell, and I'm fine here on earth until judgement day comes. Besides, I hear that suicide is an automatic out if you are heading for heaven.


I'd also like to mention my total miner friends and family that lift me up when I succeed, and catch me when I fall. I can bring my problems here, and get an answer that helps me 100% of the time. Thank you to all of those who have ever helped me, it literally means the world to me, because with out you guys, I would most likely not be here. You know who you are ;)

I'm glad to hear you're doing well! :D Great to see you pulled through!
While I'm an agnostic-atheist, I see suicide as an equally scary route as you do. If there truly isn't any afterlife, that would mean this, right now, is my only shot at living, and after that, I'm gone. Sure, I won't be in hell, but I won't exist anymore either. That's one reason I'm happy I didn't die.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Gary on October 08, 2015, 12:11:43 AM
Plus, I can first-hand say medication does work for depression. I've been on anti-depressants for a year now, and I went from near suicide on a daily basis to a normal life again. It is a real solution, it does work. :)

For some people medication works. Many who I know have had their depression worsened from taking anti-depressants. It isn't a cure-all.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Wumboist on October 08, 2015, 01:39:38 AM
Wumboist, this actually made me sad reading this, and I wanted to share with you my experience with depression that I have been dealing with my whole life, and still do to this day.

Back in 2009, I had my own place, I was close to my family where I wanted to be, before that I lived in another city quite far away from them... One night I had a party and it got out of control and the place ended up getting completely wrecked, and I ended up spending five and a half months in prison, I'm autistic, prison is no place for someone who has autism. Anyway after I came out of prison I ended up staying at a bail hostel where thing only got worse for me, ALOT worse, I was hanging with the wrong people and ended up on drugs, you name it, I was on it.

One day I decided that enough was enough so I got a piece of rope and took it to my room which was upstairs, and I tied one end to the window frame and the other end around my neck, just as I let go and started to fall one of the staff that worked there burst into the room and caught me just in time and now I live each day extremely grateful to that person for catching me because it was a very stupid thing to do. I never have, and never would tell my mother about that day.

So I have been through pretty much exactly the same thing as you have. I suffer from depression on a regular basis, which is a lot to do with my condition, but also because my mother suffers from bipolar disorder (manic depression) so there's a good chance it's been passed on to me.

If you ever feel depressed and need someone to talk to, you can always send me a message here or on xbox live, I'm always willing to help out others, and just know that you're not alone out there.

Same to you. I'm glad to hear you are better. :) My mother has bipolar disorder as well, and my dad and a lot of others on my mother's side suffer from clinical depression, which is why I believe I have it.

It has to take some serious guts to share something like that, and I'm definitely proud of you that you did. Very few people could say that they have openly shared their stories on their downfall from drug addiction.

If you/anyone ever needs someone to talk to, just PM me or message me on Xbox. I'll always be here for you guys.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Wumboist on October 08, 2015, 01:44:26 AM
For some people medication works. Many who I know have had their depression worsened from taking anti-depressants. It isn't a cure-all.

While this is true, there are dozens upon dozens anti-depressants out there for that sole purpose. My sister was on an anti-depressant that severely worsened her condition, and she had hers switched. No anti-depressant is the same, they are all for different kinds of people. While there are a very unlucky few who have tried many and haven't had any luck, when I say that anti-depressants do work for depression, I am speaking for the majority.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: .ok on October 08, 2015, 05:12:58 AM
Same to you. I'm glad to hear you are better. :) My mother has bipolar disorder as well, and my dad and a lot of others on my mother's side suffer from clinical depression, which is why I believe I have it.

It has to take some serious guts to share something like that, and I'm definitely proud of you that you did. Very few people could say that they have openly shared their stories on their downfall from drug addiction.

If you/anyone ever needs someone to talk to, just PM me or message me on Xbox. I'll always be here for you guys.
i wouldve never guessed u had autism
glad that youre here still :)
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Lady Lobo on October 08, 2015, 06:05:10 AM
When I read all of the stories in this post, it made me feel very small and humble. I realize how much strength and determination it has taken all of you to keep on going and survive.  It is so hard to make it through day by day sometimes just minute by minute depending on how hard and how deep the depression is you are dealing with. When you find the strength that you all have now, I think it makes you a stronger person who can live in this life and pass on some of the strength to others who need it just like you did at one time. The strength it has taken to tell your stories hopefully will help others in xbox, tm or any other place people are listening or reading and are thinking noone cares about them and maybe they can reach out for help also. Again I applaud all of you for the guts it took to tell your stories, I can't offer much but if any one ever needs an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on I'm here if I can help also there are others who are here to help to any way they can. Keep looking up and walking strong I wish you all the best in your lives.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Jesse on October 08, 2015, 08:42:09 AM
Thanks Lobo. You were a big help in my depression. Glad I am here today.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Wumboist on October 08, 2015, 11:20:37 AM
i wouldve never guessed u had autism
glad that youre here still :)

On no, I don't have autism. When I said same to you, I was referring to the part about needing to talk to somebody.

Thanks though haha.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: .ok on October 08, 2015, 04:13:19 PM
On no, I don't have autism. When I said same to you, I was referring to the part about needing to talk to somebody.

Thanks though haha.
huh?that was a reply to creeper?

i think lol
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: .ok on October 08, 2015, 04:34:08 PM
.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Wumboist on October 08, 2015, 06:51:27 PM
huh?that was a reply to creeper?

i think lol

Oh when you quoted in the reply you had what I said and I thought that you thought that I had autism. Lol, misunderstanding.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: MrMarooca on February 08, 2016, 09:05:04 PM
Honestly, I don't know what to do with my life anymore.
I was told by recruiters today that I had no chance of getting into the military for medical reasons outside of my control. Being a USAF CCT was my dream job (Seriously, I actually started hitting the gym and studying harder so I could prepare early) and that opportunity was taken from me, and there's nothing I can do about it. I was in tears over this.

That same medical condition now prevents me from getting my driver's license.

I doubt I'll ever be skilled enough as a coder to get an actual career as one.

I was planning on doing this program at school where you do your junior and senior year at a local community college (so you can get an associates degree right out of highschool, while getting free college), but you need really good grades for that and I lack motivation/discipline to do well in school anymore.

I literally have no idea what I'm doing with my life anymore. I just don't care about anything anymore. This isn't intended to be a cry for attention or whatever,  I just really need to vent right now.

Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Jesse on February 08, 2016, 09:31:11 PM
Honestly, I don't know what to do with my life anymore.
I was told by recruiters today that I had no chance of getting into the military for medical reasons outside of my control. Being a USAF CCT was my dream job (Seriously, I actually started hitting the gym and studying harder so I could prepare early) and that opportunity was taken from me, and there's nothing I can do about it. I was in tears over this.

That same medical condition now prevents me from getting my driver's license.

I doubt I'll ever be skilled enough as a coder to get an actual career as one.

I was planning on doing this program at school where you do your junior and senior year at a local community college (so you can get an associates degree right out of highschool, while getting free college), but you need really good grades for that and I lack motivation/discipline to do well in school anymore.

I literally have no idea what I'm doing with my life anymore. I just don't care about anything anymore. This isn't intended to be a cry for attention or whatever,  I just really need to vent right now.
Life can get difficult at times. You need to learn to brush it off. And move on as that won't be the only thing that gets in your way. If you did take a easy way out. You will affect allot of people. Weather its family,friends,tm friends. Stress is tough but everyone has some will power to fight it. Mine are my good friends. I go to them and they always talk me through my issue. And those people know who they are. And i thank them for it. Just a week ago i was going through some deep stuff and they helped me through it. You need to find that one thing that helps you through the depression you get. I encourage you to find it.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Gary on February 08, 2016, 09:39:16 PM
Honestly, I don't know what to do with my life anymore.
I was told by recruiters today that I had no chance of getting into the military for medical reasons outside of my control. Being a USAF CCT was my dream job (Seriously, I actually started hitting the gym and studying harder so I could prepare early) and that opportunity was taken from me, and there's nothing I can do about it. I was in tears over this.

That same medical condition now prevents me from getting my driver's license.

I doubt I'll ever be skilled enough as a coder to get an actual career as one.

I was planning on doing this program at school where you do your junior and senior year at a local community college (so you can get an associates degree right out of highschool, while getting free college), but you need really good grades for that and I lack motivation/discipline to do well in school anymore.

I literally have no idea what I'm doing with my life anymore. I just don't care about anything anymore. This isn't intended to be a cry for attention or whatever,  I just really need to vent right now.

Marooca, I assume you're still in high school, then?

If so, you'll have plenty of opportunities in the future to figure something else out, and plenty of time to do it.

The most important thing is keeping an open mind about things.

Story time.

Back in high school, I had no idea what I wanted to do, but I knew I wasn't smart enough to be an engineer (almost failing physics taught me that).

So I figured that I'd be a cop. There wasn't a lot to it. Be physically fit, work well under pressure, and have good decision making skills. Plenty of family members of mine worked in law enforcement, and I thought it could be emotionally rewarding, so I decided to apply to become a police cadet. And I got accepted. And I stuck with the program for just about two years.

During that time, I wasn't open to the idea of pursuing any other career paths. I just settled on the idea that I'd work in law enforcement.

It wasn't until I went to the police academy and went through the first two weeks of their training process that I realized it wasn't for me (mostly because I couldn't handle the stress, but also because my body couldn't take the running).

That's when I started having an open mind about things. I quit being a cadet, looked at a ton of different job fields, and thought about which ones I might be able to work in and enjoy (at least somewhat). I took a couple different elective courses at my college, and after that point I decided I wanted to work with balancing budgets and handling finance.

Fu** taking your junior and senior years at a community college. Finish high school at the pace that you can, and THEN go to a community college after you're done and start out by taking a ton of elective courses. Yeah, if you stick with general education classes it'll help you get your degree faster, but its more important that you have a plan than a degree. And its community college, it won't cost you a fortune.

It'll all work out, man. You're a smart guy. You'll figure it out. If no one else, you've got us.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: PWRBTTN on February 09, 2016, 05:34:12 AM
I'm not going to start off by discrediting any of the advice given. I'm simply going to say that it's not that easy to just  get over being depressed. I'm also not going to compare stories. I wouldn't consider the struggles I've had in my life to be all that detrimental to me, but I'm not without experience from them. I'm sure it's rough for you. Thing is, though... Marooca, you're a great guy. You and I have spent hours in the shoutbox sometimes, and you're smart. If you're interested in coding, as I had interpreted from your post, you should definitely try it. I just recently started to learn C#, and it's great. If you can be dedicated enough to start working out and studying for a military job, you can be fantastic at coding. I was super confused when looking at it not even a week ago. I didn't even know where to start. Honestly, it can't be that hard to get a career as a coder, I mean look at Craig. ;)

Just relax for a while. Typically a month or two is a good amount of time, I've been there. Then choose a goal, and chase it.

Things like this happen all the time, and you can't do a single thing about it. You literally feel so incredibly powerless. I get it. You've got to make things turn out well, though. Succumbing to the effects of depression are devestating.

I'm going start talking in circles, so I'll sum it up here...

You ran into a brick wall, this happens when life puts a blindfold on you. All you can do is take a breather, then get back up and push through that brick wall. Yeh, now you've gotta do it with that blindfold on, but when you've pushed through 10... 20... 30 brick walls and you made it somewhere, people are going to look at you and be amazed.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: .ok on February 10, 2016, 03:14:37 PM
for anyone out there going through pretty much anything in life such as
(http://i.imgur.com/R6w3bKk.png)
and need someone to talk to then vist 7cups.com

its free and doesnt cost any money whatsoever,to where its a comunity filled with people that care about you.theres a huge list of topics that you can choose from and to search for someone to speak with,where they have both listeners for teens and listeners for 18+

if you have something going on in life that you just need smne to listen to you,then please visit this site
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Not Actually Atlas on February 10, 2016, 05:22:48 PM
Honestly, I don't know what to do with my life anymore.
I was told by recruiters today that I had no chance of getting into the military for medical reasons outside of my control. Being a USAF CCT was my dream job (Seriously, I actually started hitting the gym and studying harder so I could prepare early) and that opportunity was taken from me, and there's nothing I can do about it. I was in tears over this.

That same medical condition now prevents me from getting my driver's license.

I doubt I'll ever be skilled enough as a coder to get an actual career as one.

I was planning on doing this program at school where you do your junior and senior year at a local community college (so you can get an associates degree right out of highschool, while getting free college), but you need really good grades for that and I lack motivation/discipline to do well in school anymore.

I literally have no idea what I'm doing with my life anymore. I just don't care about anything anymore. This isn't intended to be a cry for attention or whatever,  I just really need to vent right now.
Baby steps. You may not know what you want to do right now, but if you just start taking small steps, like getting a job, going to college and getting your general education out of the way, etc, you might eventually find a path you want to follow. Many people end up finding something better along the way.

My dad wanted to be an architect, but he started working as a Janitor at a high school and ended up working his way up to an assistant superintendent. And now he runs his own business as a consultant for small school districts who want to get construction done.

If you really need to vent, pm me ways to get in touch with you can I can always listen
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Panther on February 10, 2016, 05:56:39 PM
Alright not a lot of people know about what I've gone through So here it is
I was like
10 when my mom and her boyfriend fought he pushed her off the stairs in my house Right in front of me so then I cried my brains out then later my aunt brought me to her house with my
Cousins.in the time I was there I wanted to commit suicide but this Group called Cas Came and
Asked about me.I said it was very bad there because of fighting.so they brought me to a foster
Home that I'm in right now! Now I feel safe at  a place I can live in and I still see my mom!That's why I'm alive now.
You can talk to me as i have gone through depression as well.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Nefty on February 10, 2016, 06:48:12 PM
Honestly, I don't know what to do with my life anymore.
I was told by recruiters today that I had no chance of getting into the military for medical reasons outside of my control. Being a USAF CCT was my dream job (Seriously, I actually started hitting the gym and studying harder so I could prepare early) and that opportunity was taken from me, and there's nothing I can do about it. I was in tears over this.

That same medical condition now prevents me from getting my driver's license.

I doubt I'll ever be skilled enough as a coder to get an actual career as one.

I was planning on doing this program at school where you do your junior and senior year at a local community college (so you can get an associates degree right out of highschool, while getting free college), but you need really good grades for that and I lack motivation/discipline to do well in school anymore.

I literally have no idea what I'm doing with my life anymore. I just don't care about anything anymore. This isn't intended to be a cry for attention or whatever,  I just really need to vent right now.

Congratulations, you're now starting your Hero's Journey! Let me explain.

Every hero has a dream, a vision of how life should be for him or her. Gary briefly touched on this in his example, wanting to be a cop. Im going to use the movie the Hobbit as an example.

Bilbo Baggins is just an average guy right? He just wants to remain in his home and eat tons of food and relax, until he is tasked to do with something great, something hard. Something that is going to change his life forever. He denies it at first. What? A deadly mission across half the world where i might die?!@? Are you f***ing serious? But what does he do? HE CHANGES HIS MIND, HE REALIZES WHAT HE HAD ORIGINALLY PLANNED WASNT GOING TO WORK.

And then we get this:
(http://www.annmariemiles.com/kcfinder/upload/images/adventure.png)

Anyway, you've reached the obstacle. Not by your choice unlike in the hobbit, but what you originally planned didnt work out, now you pursue something radically different.

Let me explain my story.

Coming into high school, i was 6'3 160lbs, and could catch almost any ball thrown my way. I thought i was gonna be the star Wide Receiver on the football team, and then play college ball. I didnt know what i wanted to do, just as long as i made a lot of money.

Sop-hom-ore year comes around. I hadnt grown, i hadnt put on weight, months of work in the offseason meant nothing. I ended up 3rd string and didnt play a single play the entire year. I realized i wasnt going to be able to play football, so i quit. I had 4 hours extra everyday for activities, i didnt know what to do with myself. Thats when i picked up TM again, and started my YT channel. I got more involved in the community, eventually finding great people.

When scheduling for my junior year came about, i needed an extra elective. My buddy Jake who talked me into playing Rugby, told me to take an Intro to J-A-V-A class with him. Reluctantly i agreed and i fell in love with coding. I now am looking at several schools to go for computer science, and only 8 weeks into Rugby i love it!

===-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Moral of the story: We were put on this Earth for a reason, and sometimes we dont know what it is. Sometimes we get it dead wrong. And then God has to smack in the face with some very awful news like not getting into Military institutions to put you on your path. But keep your head up. Ill leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

"Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther."

-Keep banging Marooca, the devil doesnt like hard workers ;)
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: .ok on July 01, 2016, 02:30:02 AM
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Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Jim on April 02, 2017, 03:58:05 AM
Hi guys. A lot of you know me around here as Jim, or any other name you can come up with for me. My real name is Jamie. I am currently 17 years old, turning 18 on The 13th of May. I am currently in my last year of school, working a job and trying to make something of my life.

I joined and started playing this game back around September of 2011 and I never made a forums account until 2014 which means I never got to talk to any of you guys on here. Back then I used to play this game all the time with a few friends and we would be on this game for about 5+ hours every single day on DigDeep, trying to build a house in the first "hell" and constantly dying every few minutes.

However those days are long gone as those friends who I just mentioned (there were 4 of them) I'm the only one who still has an Xbox out of those guys and we have spoken to each other in years. They've all grown up and gotten jobs and don't have time for Xbox sadly. Which is a sad feeling since we were always online with each other and playing this game, and other games, all the time back in the day.

But I wanted to say this other thing too..

I have been dealing with depression for well over a year now.

It's been really, really tough on me, and there's been sometimes where I've been struggling so badly with it and don't know what to do, that I just sit in silence and think about what I'm actually doing with my life. I mostly get negative thoughts which really isn't good at all. I haven't got any suicidal thoughts yet which is good because I've recently been starting to improve and talk to people.

The first people that I told about my depression were my parents and honestly just from telling them, it made me feel so much better as they sat and talked with me for a solid 2 hours, as soon as I told them, they were doing the best that they could in asking me what was causing it and trying to help me solve my problems which really improved my health siverely.

The main things that I've been struggling with are school, my job and relationships. School and my job being the main cause of my depression. See, I'm currently in my very last year in school which is called "Upper 6th" over here in the UK (I'm not quite sure what that is over in the U.S. etc) But it has really taken a toll on me as I've been constantly swamped in work and other issues that I was finding it hard to deal with. My job has affected me a lot too, being that I really don't like it and dealing with innapropriate and rude customers. I really dislike my job but I need the money for a lot of things at this current stage of my life and I can't afford to quit as there are no jobs out there.

Ever since I got really involved with this community, talking to people and playing with you guys on Xbox. It's has really helped me so much it's amazing. I still suffer with depression but it's not as bad as it was over a year ago. As I said I left the Total Miner Discord last night as I was struggling with something just a little bit and I could be bothered listening and banning those trolls that joined last night, just to scream in the voice chat.

Trub was roasting me last night in the voice chat but that was just good banter and Trub being Trub.

I have to thank bob too for adding me to the Total Miner team and letting me be a Jr. Moderator. Ever since then, I've felt like I've had an important role to play and set and example for the new-comers and members in general. Because ever since I became a Jr. Mod, I've became really good friends with a lot of you guys on here, which has really, really, really helped me deal with my depression, as I have had people to talk to and chat with. Talking with people when you have depression really helps a person deal with their depression, as keeping quiet and bottling up your emotions is so incredibly bad for you, it's terrible.

Thank you so much everybody for letting me be a part of your community! Thank you bob for letting me be a part of the Total Miner team! Thank you Craig for creating the game in general, as if it weren't for him, this game and community wouldn't exist and I would have never gotten the chance to talk to any of you guys!

You guys have really helped me deal with my depression and I am slowly getting better. It will take a long while to overcome my depression but I am getting there slowly but surely.

I'll say it again! Thank you everyone so much for letting me be apart of your community! It has really helped me deal with my depression and if it weren't for you guys, I could've possibly been in an entirely different mindset in life.

Thank you so much!
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Not Actually Atlas on April 02, 2017, 04:24:19 AM
Hi guys. A lot of you know me around here as Jim, or any other name you can come up with for me. My real name is Jamie. I am currently 17 years old, turning 18 on The 13th of May. I am currently in my last year of school, working a job and trying to make something of my life.

I joined and started playing this game back around September of 2011 and I never made a forums account until 2014 which means I never got to talk to any of you guys on here. Back then I used to play this game all the time with a few friends and we would be on this game for about 5+ hours every single day on DigDeep, trying to build a house in the first "hell" and constantly dying every few minutes.

However those days are long gone as those friends who I just mentioned (there were 4 of them) I'm the only one who still has an Xbox out of those guys and we have spoken to each other in years. They've all grown up and gotten jobs and don't have time for Xbox sadly. Which is a sad feeling since we were always online with each other and playing this game, and other games, all the time back in the day.

But I wanted to say this other thing too..

I have been dealing with depression for well over a year now.

It's been really, really tough on me, and there's been sometimes where I've been struggling so badly with it and don't know what to do, that I just sit in silence and think about what I'm actually doing with my life. I mostly get negative thoughts which really isn't good at all. I haven't got any suicidal thoughts yet which is good because I've recently been starting to improve and talk to people.

The first people that I told about my depression were my parents and honestly just from telling them, it made me feel so much better as they sat and talked with me for a solid 2 hours, as soon as I told them, they were doing the best that they could in asking me what was causing it and trying to help me solve my problems which really improved my health siverely.

The main things that I've been struggling with are school, my job and relationships. School and my job being the main cause of my depression. See, I'm currently in my very last year in school which is called "Upper 6th" over here in the UK (I'm not quite sure what that is over in the U.S. etc) But it has really taken a toll on me as I've been constantly swamped in work and other issues that I was finding it hard to deal with. My job has affected me a lot too, being that I really don't like it and dealing with innapropriate and rude customers. I really dislike my job but I need the money for a lot of things at this current stage of my life and I can't afford to quit as there are no jobs out there.

Ever since I got really involved with this community, talking to people and playing with you guys on Xbox. It's has really helped me so much it's amazing. I still suffer with depression but it's not as bad as it was over a year ago. As I said I left the Total Miner Discord last night as I was struggling with something just a little bit and I could be bothered listening and banning those trolls that joined last night, just to scream in the voice chat.

Trub was roasting me last night in the voice chat but that was just good banter and Trub being Trub.

I have to thank bob too for adding me to the Total Miner team and letting me be a Jr. Moderator. Ever since then, I've felt like I've had an important role to play and set and example for the new-comers and members in general. Because ever since I became a Jr. Mod, I've became really good friends with a lot of you guys on here, which has really, really, really helped me deal with my depression, as I have had people to talk to and chat with. Talking with people when you have depression really helps a person deal with their depression, as keeping quiet and bottling up your emotions is so incredibly bad for you, it's terrible.

Thank you so much everybody for letting me be a part of your community! Thank you bob for letting me be a part of the Total Miner team! Thank you Craig for creating the game in general, as if it weren't for him, this game and community wouldn't exist and I would have never gotten the chance to talk to any of you guys!

You guys have really helped me deal with my depression and I am slowly getting better. It will take a long while to overcome my depression but I am getting there slowly but surely.

I'll say it again! Thank you everyone so much for letting me be apart of your community! It has really helped me deal with my depression and if it weren't for you guys, I could've possibly been in an entirely different mindset in life.

Thank you so much!
TL:DR

Just kidding. Anyway, I think I think for everyone here when I say we appreciate you too. I know exactly what you mean too. This a good community that allows you to be a part of something bigger, even when you feel like you don't have anyone
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: TheDestinedCrab on April 02, 2017, 08:20:44 AM
I've known you for a while Jim, we used to build maps and play maps etc.. You've honestly been one of the best people I've met on TM. Stay strong, I'm here if you need anything - and will always be here.

Good luck fighting the rest of your depression
TheDestinedCrab.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Dryym on April 02, 2017, 10:49:10 AM
Keep fighting the good fight, Jamie. We all love you here, And I personally think that from what I have seen of you, You are one of those people who seems to have a lot of natural talent.


I'm only very slightly younger than you, So I know the feeling of drifting away from old Xbox friends that you used to talk to every day. I had a group of 4-5 people who I used play Halo Reach custom games with a whole lot. They've all moved on in life, Or are just in a position where I am no longer in contact with any of them.
There's only one of them whom I still regularly talk to.


I don't know how much help this advice will be, But perhaps you should try turning negative thoughts into something positive. I'll use building in TM as an example here.

Say you build something and your first thought about it is "This sucks, Why even bother?" What you can then try to do is ask yourself questions about the negative thought. "Why does this suck?" "Does it really suck, Or am I just being negative?" "How can I improve this so it no longer sucks?" Once you have answers to all of your questions, You can then turn that information into something positive. Say you have figured out why you think your build sucks, You can then go in and fix all of that to make it suck less.


Also, Just a fun fact. Your first contact with me was telling all recent players that you had a drop party going on your deathmine...
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: RemoteBeef092 on April 02, 2017, 01:48:47 PM
I haven't, or don't really talk to you often, and haven't been on here long, but I do wanna say, gg m8, it is depressing when you have a job and move on from those childhood/younger memories, but at the same time you will create new ones you can reflect on. I hope you continue on your progression, good luck. Also, very well written, Jim.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Jim on April 03, 2017, 07:48:49 AM
Thanks guys for the support. I really needed it. I'm still depressed and probably will be for a load of years to come as it takes a long, long time for people to overcome depression.

As of now I am slowly getting better and with your guys support it makes it all that better for me!

I love this community and thank you guys so much!
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Not Actually Atlas on April 03, 2017, 05:07:22 PM
Thanks guys for the support. I really needed it. I'm still depressed and probably will be for a load of years to come as it takes a long, long time for people to overcome depression.

As of now I am slowly getting better and with your guys support it makes it all that better for me!

I love this community and thank you guys so much!
If you have a kik you can feel free to message me whenever you need someone to talk to
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Jim on November 22, 2017, 02:33:49 PM
As of this point my depression is basically non-existent. I've just been carrying on with my life and haven't felt this happy in ages!

Right now I'm in a comfortable position, however the only thing that's in my way is the fact that I'm out of a job. I left my construction job a few weeks ago and have struggled to find a new job just so I can make a bit of money. I've had a few job interviews but I'm still sitting jobless.

I'm currently in a good position in life right now. I'm in a comfortable relationship with my girlfriend, my family are doing well, my grandad who recently got his leg amputated has gotten moved into a care home close to our house and just overall everything seems to be going well!

I'm in a completely different mindset to what I was this time last year. I feel so much happier compared to then.

Remember if you're ever feeling down or in a really bad mindset, please talk to your family, friends or relatives because you have so many people that love and care about you. Don't bottle your feelings up. Please talk to someone!

Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: CDJ on November 23, 2017, 02:53:19 AM
As of this point my depression is basically non-existent. I've just been carrying on with my life and haven't felt this happy in ages!

Right now I'm in a comfortable position, however the only thing that's in my way is the fact that I'm out of a job. I left my construction job a few weeks ago and have struggled to find a new job just so I can make a bit of money. I've had a few job interviews but I'm still sitting jobless.

I'm currently in a good position in life right now. I'm in a comfortable relationship with my girlfriend, my family are doing well, my grandad who recently got his leg amputated has gotten moved into a care home close to our house and just overall everything seems to be going well!

I'm in a completely different mindset to what I was this time last year. I feel so much happier compared to then.

Remember if you're ever feeling down or in a really bad mindset, please talk to your family, friends or relatives because you have so many people that love and care about you. Don't bottle your feelings up. Please talk to someone!

That's great to hear jim! Don't let the small things in life affect you buddy!
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: cY Agent 115 on November 23, 2017, 07:03:59 AM
If there's anything i can say about depression is that it will always come back.

I won't bore people with details but i can say that i've been beaten by own mind since my early teens. I was a good-for-nothing 19 year old who had "wasted" his last teen years playing computer games and not making anything of myself. One day i had motivation to look for a job. fortunately I found one that day. i went in for an interview and i felt like my life was turning around. Working in a retail store for about 9 months with customers built my confidence to interact with people, and to see someone smile as they say "thanks" is one of the most lifting and underrated sayings of all time. It makes you feel like you've done something good, and doing good things is how i get happy and confident.

I left the retail life and started working in a McRibtail bar where i learned how to make McRibtails and the like. this job has the been the best thing that was happened to me since TMF. When you make a drink from scratch that someone enjoys and is "amazed" by the technique and taste of it, it fills you with confidence. my "depression and anxiety" works around the feeling of rejection. If i feel rejected, i feel down and kinda bad. Since i started flair bartending (flipping bottles), ive seen more people compliment me on my McRibtail making. Here's a video of where ive come with 2 months training (at the time). https://www.facebook.com/tommy.gorst/videos/vb.100003464475957/1318877914904345/?type=2&theater (https://www.facebook.com/tommy.gorst/videos/vb.100003464475957/1318877914904345/?type=2&theater)

The bottom line is, to fight depression you need to find something fun to put your mind off it, TMPC will definitely help me personally haha.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Not Actually Atlas on November 23, 2017, 01:06:44 PM
If you need a job, try gas stations. My last job, the only "interview" I had was a drug test. At my current job, I walked in and asked for an application. Instead he looked at my resume and asked if I could come in for training in 4 hours and work an 8 hour shift the next 4 days. Gas station employee turnover rates are pretty high because it's a good place to work lots of hours while looking for a new job. Currently I am pulling in just under $1600 a month. It's not much, but having something to do definitely makes me hate myself alot less.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Jim on November 23, 2017, 01:36:27 PM
If you need a job, try gas stations. My last job, the only "interview" I had was a drug test. At my current job, I walked in and asked for an application. Instead he looked at my resume and asked if I could come in for training in 4 hours and work an 8 hour shift the next 4 days. Gas station employee turnover rates are pretty high because it's a good place to work lots of hours while looking for a new job. Currently I am pulling in just under $1600 a month. It's not much, but having something to do definitely makes me hate myself alot less.

I've actually gotten a few job interviews for a bunch of different places which includes a pet shop and fish and chips shop. I actually have a job interview for McDonald's next Wednesday. I'm only going to be working until September 2018 where I can go back to college or maybe start university. Basically I'm taking a year off to make a bit of money and start what I want to do when next September rolls around.
Title: Re: Dealing With Depression
Post by: Joel on November 23, 2017, 03:26:13 PM
There is only one way to kill Depression....Change the mindset....(The mind is really powerful and i heard story that this one guy was thinking he was giving birth and felt the pain of it too but turns out he was only thinking of it) anyways if you think your depress your going to be depress and to sum this up with a little saying that most people don't know "You are what you think you are" and that applies to everyone. Now jobs are jobs be positive that you will get a job and you will have it.