Author Topic:  15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)  (Read 6031 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Gary

  • Tester
  • Supreme Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2909
  • Steam: Conmaan ... ... Discord: Conmaan #9586
  • Awards 1 year on site+100 posts Was in the top 10 of the forum stats page as of 4/12/15 Former MotM winners
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #15 on: April 22, 2014, 06:51:23 PM »
I like the way you are using forum members as characters in your story. Hopefully, though, you will still allow for those characters to have some character development as the story itself progresses (usually when I write based off of real people or events the character development suffers simply because I try to portray that person as who they are rather than a character in a story, but it will be interesting to see how you approach it).

It would be kind of interesting to include someone from the forums as an antagonist, as I see you have been primarily using people as protagonists. Just a thought.

Overall great work and I can't wait to read the upcoming days!


               

Link to my youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo4rmelSOUB9YMM0Is-zWyQ

Silver

  • Elite Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 845
  • I write stories. What else do you need to know?!
  • Awards 2 years on site+300 posts 1 year on site+100 posts Former MotM winners Day 1 w/25+ posts (4/12/13)
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #16 on: April 23, 2014, 02:25:41 AM »
I like the way you are using forum members as characters in your story. Hopefully, though, you will still allow for those characters to have some character development as the story itself progresses (usually when I write based off of real people or events the character development suffers simply because I try to portray that person as who they are rather than a character in a story, but it will be interesting to see how you approach it).

It would be kind of interesting to include someone from the forums as an antagonist, as I see you have been primarily using people as protagonists. Just a thought.

Overall great work and I can't wait to read the upcoming days!

Thanks for the feedback and yes, I do plan for some of our fellow forum members to be antagonists (not based on my relationships with them irl). I've never been too good at character development, but we'll see how it goes.

Silver

  • Elite Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 845
  • I write stories. What else do you need to know?!
  • Awards 2 years on site+300 posts 1 year on site+100 posts Former MotM winners Day 1 w/25+ posts (4/12/13)
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #17 on: April 23, 2014, 03:13:22 AM »
Day 1

Silver

Silver heard someone scream for help in the distance. He pondered whether to go and help, and decided to go for it. He crouched under a fallen pillar and cautiously approached where the scream had come from. He stayed in the shadows as he saw a man laying on a piece of concrete, dead. Another man stood there, with a knife in his hands. Yet another arrived, and the two fought. In the end the murderer was tied up with some rope. One more showed up and shouted, "Infected!". They were chased away by two infected people. It had only been a day, so it surprised Silver how many had been taken by the infection. When the infected were too far away to be heard, Silver went to see the murderer. "What's your name?" The murderer looked up at Silver, and replied, "Liam. Look, this isn't what you think." Silver nodded and said, "Yeah, I've been in this sort of situation before. But not as intense as this, of course." Liam grunted as if to agree.

They both stayed silent for a while before Silver spoke again. "Hey, I'm sure you want me to take off the rope." Liam nodded as best as he could from the ground. "Well, I need to know if I can trust you. I'll take that knife from you and we'll see how it goes from there." Liam didn't do anything, but Silver was sure he understood. He crouched down and took the knife from Liam, then untied the rope. Liam stood up and said, "Thanks. I thought I was as good as dead, with all of these ill people roaming the city." Silver replied, "I would too. Maybe when we get somewhere safer than here you can tell me what happened here." He felt somehow empowered with Liam's knife in his possession; he wondered if he'd done the right thing, saving Liam. Well, what could he do now? They left the building.

It was night. Silver felt vulnerable walking out on the streets of the city; it felt too quiet considering how loud it usually was. Was. Things were different now. Liam pointed and said, "It's too open on the streets. Let's go somewhere safer. Silver nodded nervously; was Liam luring him into a trap? He couldn't run, as Liam looked like he was faster, so he just followed. They entered the alley and sat at the end. Silver pulled out two chocolate bars. "You want one?" Liam looked at them and said, "Sure. I'm just saying though; aren't there more important things to pack than chocolate?" Silver nodded understandingly and replied, "I know, but I was packing in a rush and just grabbed some of the stuff near me. I stopped and ran when the building opposite me crashed to the ground. Where I found you? That was the one." Liam looked like he was thinking, then asked, "So this one next to us is where you used to live?" Silver nodded, and said, "I did have some stuff that could be useful. Maybe we can go there in the morning." Liam nodded and went to sleep. Silver did the same.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2014, 06:07:01 PM by Silver »

Madjar

  • Fresh Meat
  • *
  • Posts: 4
    • View Profile
    • Awards
  • Xbox: zi SHoTGuNz x
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #18 on: April 23, 2014, 05:41:47 AM »
I dont read much but this is a good read cant wait for the next one also may I be included?
« Last Edit: April 23, 2014, 05:43:38 AM by Madjar »

sinless

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 268
  • Been here since the beginning
  • Awards 1 year on site+100 posts Week 1 members w/25+ posts (4/13/13-4/20/13)
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #19 on: April 23, 2014, 06:36:52 AM »
I'd love to be part of the story if you don't mind


Thanks to /gk for making me this sig /wub

"Announcer of The Official Zepplin Race"

Silver

  • Elite Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 845
  • I write stories. What else do you need to know?!
  • Awards 2 years on site+300 posts 1 year on site+100 posts Former MotM winners Day 1 w/25+ posts (4/12/13)
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #20 on: April 23, 2014, 06:08:38 PM »
Changing 'Day 2' to 'Day 1: Silver' after a stupid mistake I made; they happened on the same day! *Slaps self* Turns out, there might be a few more chapters!
« Last Edit: April 23, 2014, 06:12:02 PM by Silver »

Jared

  • Supreme Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2436
  • Maze/Trivia Builder & Previous Total Miner Tester
  • Awards Members who have unlocked the robotic avatar 2 years on site+300 posts Former MotM winners 1 year on site+100 posts
    • View Profile
    • Awards
  • Xbox: Jeff McNewmen
  • PSN: Jeff_McNewmen
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #21 on: April 23, 2014, 06:41:19 PM »
This seems very entertaining and poor Disco AKA Shorts ;) I would like to be apart of this and see the unique way I die and to see how far I end up living.



   
   
《Thank You GK & Mysterio For These Astonishing Signitures!》

Silver

  • Elite Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 845
  • I write stories. What else do you need to know?!
  • Awards 2 years on site+300 posts 1 year on site+100 posts Former MotM winners Day 1 w/25+ posts (4/12/13)
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #22 on: April 23, 2014, 06:55:48 PM »
Day 2

Clerical, Bilbo

"There's the clinic." The windows were covered in blood and handprints; there were going to be alot of them in there. Clerical and Bilbo crossed the street and tried the door, but it was locked; a good thing, too, because they were answered by many distorted screams from inside. Bilbo felt nervous; was this going to work? He didn't feel too good, but he couldn't be sure whether it was the infection or the fact that he was about to walk into a room of 10 things out to kill people like him. It didn't smell too good either; Bilbo was prepared to see the remnants of a massacre inside this damned building.

After a while of looking Clerical came to get Bilbo. "There's a door at the back and it's open, should we go?" Bilbo nodded; what other chance would they get? He went to the back and opened the door silently. He walked in carefully, closing the door behind him, and looked for any signs of the cure. Across the floor were dozens of empty, used syringes. They led to another door which seemingly entered the front of the shop, where all of the infected were. Bilbo understood; once the doctors knew there was no hope, they used all of the cure for themselves, trying to stay alive. It obviously didn't work though, there were infected in there. He decided to go through the door that said 'STAFF ONLY'. It led to a room full of bottles of medicine, bandages and all sorts. He grabbed some necessities, but he couldn't seem to find anything which blatantly said 'Cure' on it. He even went so far to read the small text on the backs of the bottles, but no answer. That was it; the doctors must have used it all for them. Unless there was still some in the front room... the room filled with infected people, hungry for flesh. Well, now was the time to put the theory to the test. He walked back to the door which led to the front, and opened it...

There was no turning back now. Bilbo walked into the room far enough to be surrounded by the infected. They surrounded him, confused as to why he suddenly appeared. They ran their fingers down his arms. They moaned softly, which unsettled Bilbo. He made eye contact with one an infected man and observed him closely. His eyes were opened inhumanly wide and bloodshot. The infected man stared back, not knowing what else to do. He wore a lab coat, but it was torn and stained with blood. He had obviously been a doctor. Bilbo noticed something in the man's pocket; a filled syringe. He took it and wondered why the infected doctor hadn't used it. It didn't matter, he had the cure now. He slid it out of the doctor's pocket as all of the infected watched him strangely. They didn't know what he was doing. Now he needed to know where to jab himself. He went down to his knees and searched for a bottle among the crowd of feet. He found a label which told him to jab it into his arm. However, it didn't say what medicine it was for. What if it wasn't for the cure? What if this was going to kill him for putting it in the wrong place? He decided to risk it. He braced himself, then jabbed it into his arm fast, to get it over with. As he pushed all of the cure into him he let out a gasp; it stung inside his arm as it spread. He fell to the ground, feeling too weak to move. His whole body was tingling; was this supposed to happen? He was feeling better already. He shouted to Clerical, "It's working!" Suddenly a scream filled out the silence, followed by more. Bilbo's smile faded as he realised what he'd done. He'd just cured himself in the middle of a crowd of infected, looking to eat people who were healthy. He screamed. The infected fell to their knees as they began to bite at his skin, then his flesh. It was so painful, he wanted it to be over. It would be over, soon. Bilbo had doomed himself to a horrible death. He felt stupid.

Clerical shouted, "Bilbo! No, no, no!" This wasn't supposed to happen. He slid down to a sitting position with his hands covering his face. Both of his friends were dead. He was all alone. Bilbo's death was his fault. It had been his idea to do this. The screams faded. Either they'd devoured him completely, or he had come back as one of them. He felt like there was no purpose for him anymore; no place to go, no one to talk to. Maybe he should end it right now; no one would care, all of his family, all of his friends, were dead, no where to be seen. Maybe he should enter that building and die the same way as Bilbo. Or maybe he should slit his throat and go through the same pain as Disco instead. He decided not to do either of these in the end; he felt starving. He pulled out a can of beans from his backpack. He wouldn't let these monsters get him the same way as Bilbo.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2014, 03:41:01 AM by Silver »

Silver

  • Elite Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 845
  • I write stories. What else do you need to know?!
  • Awards 2 years on site+300 posts 1 year on site+100 posts Former MotM winners Day 1 w/25+ posts (4/12/13)
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #23 on: April 23, 2014, 06:56:48 PM »
This seems very entertaining and poor Disco AKA Shorts ;) I would like to be apart of this and see the unique way I die and to see how far I end up living.

Sure! I'll add you to the sign ups.

Shorts the Environmentalist

  • Supreme Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3091
  • I like to do graphics!
  • Awards 2 years on site+300 posts Was in the top 10 of the forum stats page as of 4/12/15 1 year on site+100 posts Week 1 members w/25+ posts (4/13/13-4/20/13)
    • View Profile
    • Awards
  • Xbox: Shortpants128
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #24 on: April 23, 2014, 07:58:51 PM »
So Disco has been acknowledged to be dead almost instantly to the story! woot woot! XD

Doctor Who superfan! and first to break the topic section! First to be Legendary Member! I also claim to have the biggest name :3
/apm /ag /ag /ag /ag

Steam and XBL GT :
Shortpants128


KUi Klutch

  • Legendary Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1156
  • Życie jest trudne, mimo wszystko, to cię zabije.
  • Awards 2 years on site+300 posts Was in the top 10 of the forum stats page as of 4/12/15 Members who have unlocked the robotic avatar 1 year on site+100 posts Former MotM winners Day 1 w/25+ posts (4/12/13) 3 years on site+600 posts
    • View Profile
    • Awards
  • Xbox: Zz Klann zZ
  • PSN: The Glowing One
  • Steam: KUi Klutch
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #25 on: April 23, 2014, 08:00:08 PM »
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! why man? :(
Partial owner of Trubstep Industries (1%)
^ I lied, my share was bought out by Trub.

Silver

  • Elite Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 845
  • I write stories. What else do you need to know?!
  • Awards 2 years on site+300 posts 1 year on site+100 posts Former MotM winners Day 1 w/25+ posts (4/12/13)
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #26 on: April 23, 2014, 11:34:30 PM »
Sorry guys, there's only 15 days for everybody to die :/

Jared

  • Supreme Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2436
  • Maze/Trivia Builder & Previous Total Miner Tester
  • Awards Members who have unlocked the robotic avatar 2 years on site+300 posts Former MotM winners 1 year on site+100 posts
    • View Profile
    • Awards
  • Xbox: Jeff McNewmen
  • PSN: Jeff_McNewmen
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #27 on: April 23, 2014, 11:56:36 PM »
KUi you got mutilated more then Edd on Shawn of the Dead. Your death made me flinch back XD



   
   
《Thank You GK & Mysterio For These Astonishing Signitures!》

Silver

  • Elite Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 845
  • I write stories. What else do you need to know?!
  • Awards 2 years on site+300 posts 1 year on site+100 posts Former MotM winners Day 1 w/25+ posts (4/12/13)
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #28 on: April 25, 2014, 03:14:52 AM »
Sorry I didn't release anything today guys. I'm sick :(

CarboN x Spider

  • Elite Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 721
  • Secret Spider-Sloth since 1986
  • Awards 1 year on site+100 posts
    • View Profile
    • Awards
  • Xbox: Blu Juggernaut5
Re: 15 Days to the End (Forum Members as Characters!)
« Reply #29 on: April 25, 2014, 11:08:45 AM »
Sorry I didn't release anything today guys. I'm sick :(
get well soon *special BluR Medicine given to silver ;)