Author Topic:  Hakulat (Short Story)  (Read 376 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Platinum Dryym

  • Supreme Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4233
  • What's yours is mine. ~TM's Resident Master Thief~
  • Awards Members who have unlocked the robotic avatar Awarded to exemplary forum members 2 years on site+300 posts 3 years on site+600 posts Site art contributions/TPs in-game/Contest winners 1 year on site+100 posts
    • View Profile
    • Awards
  • Xbox: dryym
Hakulat (Short Story)
« on: June 27, 2016, 09:24:08 AM »
Wh-where am I?
What is this place?

I appear to be in a nursery of some sort.
Over in the corner of the room, I see two people. A man and a woman, Adorned in fine silk and jewels.
They seem familiar. I can't remember.
Why am I here? Oh yes, I remember. I was looking for someone... Evelyn. Beloved Evelyn.

---------------------

The room has changed. I am now in a vast dining hall. Two kings sit at the heads of the table, They are talking, But I cannot hear their words.
Sitting next to one king is a beautiful little girl, Sitting next to the other king, A little boy. Is this a betrothal?
That is unimportant, I can't forget, I am looking for Evelyn.

---------------------

I am now outside, Horses are running, People are cheering. This appears to be some sporting event. A race, Perhaps?
Everyone here seems to be blurred except for one of the riders, A young girl in white, Probably only about seven years of age.
She looks familiar, But I can't remember.
I was doing something.. Yes, I was looking for Evelyn, How could I not remember that.

---------------------

I am in a common town now, The king's carriage is being pulled through and the townsfolk have gathered around.
The king's carriage has stopped in the centre of town, He gets out and says something to the townsfolk which causes them to cheer. He then brings a young lady out of his carriage, Most likely the princess.
She seems unhappy, Almost sad about the experience. As she exits the carriage, She waves and says something which only serves to cause further cheering.
Evelyn... I can't forget Evelyn.

---------------------

There is a peasants' house. It seems rather old, It looks like a miserable place to live, And yet seeing it fills me with such an intense feeling of happiness that I would have a great deal of trouble trying to describe it.
I see a young lady, Probably about fourteen years of age, Ride up to the house by horse. She enters the house and stays for a very long time. It is almost dark by the time she exits.
Perhaps this is where I can find Evelyn

---------------------

I am in a throne room, I think. The king sits at his throne next to the queen, The royal fool is performing an acrobatic feat of some sort.
The princess walks in and interrupts the act. She says something to the king which rouses the king to stand. A long argument ensues.
Though I cannot hear them, I can tell that the king's words are sharp and very harsh. So much so, That even through the silence they hurt me.
Clearly I am not the only one hurt, As the princess has run out of the room crying.

---------------------

I am in the grand hall of the castle, I think. I can't remember.
The princess stands at the end of the hall along with the king, The queen, And another girl whom I do not recognize. Is this a marriage?
Just before the two are about to kiss, The doors to the great hall burst open. A figure cloaked in shadows enters...

---------------------

Dead... They are all dead... All except the king, And queen, Those two are simply hovering next to the shadowy figure, Lifeless but still living...

All that is left now is the princess and the figure.
Tears stream down the princess' face as her gaze falls upon the corpse of her beloved.
She says one thing, And one thing only.

"I am not afraid."
To which the shadowy figure laughs and says.
"You should be..."

---------------------

Wh-where am I?
What is this place?

I appear to be in a dark corridor. In the centre of the corridor I can make out a beautiful woman.
"Please help me."
I say to her.
"I am looking for someone, But I can't remember."

She says nothing, And begins to walk away.
"Please don't go..."
I say desperately to no avail as she disappears into the darkness.

---------------------

Why am I here?
---------------------
Why am I so sad?
---------------------
Who am I?
---------------------
What am I?
---------------------
I can't remember...

Creator of the term "Deathmine ©"
Jared [19|Oct 07:12 PM]: "It changes everything" Dryym

Platinum Dryym

  • Supreme Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4233
  • What's yours is mine. ~TM's Resident Master Thief~
  • Awards Members who have unlocked the robotic avatar Awarded to exemplary forum members 2 years on site+300 posts 3 years on site+600 posts Site art contributions/TPs in-game/Contest winners 1 year on site+100 posts
    • View Profile
    • Awards
  • Xbox: dryym
Re: Hakulat (Short Story)
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2016, 09:30:26 AM »

Ha·ku·lat

Noun
A Demonic word with no simple translation to English.
The meaning is similar to "Loss of the Soul/Mind"

To cause hakulat is considered a crime to the highest degree possible.
To experience hakulat is considered a fate many orders of magnitude worse than death.


Spoiler for Hidden Content:
More story information will be here later.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2016, 09:31:25 PM by Dryym »

Creator of the term "Deathmine ©"
Jared [19|Oct 07:12 PM]: "It changes everything" Dryym

Jack Of Shades

  • Supreme Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3236
  • ☽♕۞♕☾
  • Awards Donated a giveaway prize. (Must be a prize of cash value.) 2 years on site+300 posts Members who have unlocked the robotic avatar 1 year on site+100 posts Was in the top 10 of the forum stats page as of 4/12/15 Former MotM winners
    • View Profile
    • Jack Of Shades Youtube Gaming Channel
    • Awards
Re: Hakulat (Short Story)
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2016, 12:44:40 PM »
Nicely written, Dryym. I really enjoyed this. Wasn't sure what I was reading. A dream, a Nightmare, insanity, some form of torture that hasn't been revealed yet. Good stuff. +1

Platinum Dryym

  • Supreme Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4233
  • What's yours is mine. ~TM's Resident Master Thief~
  • Awards Members who have unlocked the robotic avatar Awarded to exemplary forum members 2 years on site+300 posts 3 years on site+600 posts Site art contributions/TPs in-game/Contest winners 1 year on site+100 posts
    • View Profile
    • Awards
  • Xbox: dryym
Re: Hakulat (Short Story)
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2016, 01:05:45 PM »
Nicely written, Dryym. I really enjoyed this. Wasn't sure what I was reading. A dream, a Nightmare, insanity, some form of torture that hasn't been revealed yet. Good stuff. +1

If you want to be technical about it, It is all of the above to a degree.

Spoiler for Hidden Content:
This is a first person perspective of the destruction of one's soul, Everything that makes that person, That person. I don't know how else to describe it.

An evil sorcerer came in and destroyed everything that made them who they were, Leaving only a husk for him to control.

The princess was able to hold out for longer by holding on to the memories of her true love, Evelyn.
But in the end, Even that didn't make a difference. Evelyn is dead. The only difference her love made was the fact that her memory of Evelyn was the last to go.

Once that last memory left, All she could feel was sadness. She didn't remember why she was sad, Or who she was. It was just sadness until her soul was snuffed out entirely.

Loss of Humanity is probably one of the scariest prospects I can think of. And the only other time I have seen it done in a similar way is in the novel Halo: The Flood.

There was a chapter in which Captain Jacob Keyes trys to resist assimilation into the flood proto-gravemind. In fact, There is a terminal based on that scene.


Creator of the term "Deathmine ©"
Jared [19|Oct 07:12 PM]: "It changes everything" Dryym

Jack Of Shades

  • Supreme Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3236
  • ☽♕۞♕☾
  • Awards Donated a giveaway prize. (Must be a prize of cash value.) 2 years on site+300 posts Members who have unlocked the robotic avatar 1 year on site+100 posts Was in the top 10 of the forum stats page as of 4/12/15 Former MotM winners
    • View Profile
    • Jack Of Shades Youtube Gaming Channel
    • Awards
Re: Hakulat (Short Story)
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2016, 01:14:24 PM »
Nicely written, Dryym. I really enjoyed this. Wasn't sure what I was reading. A dream, a Nightmare, insanity, some form of torture that hasn't been revealed yet. Good stuff. +1

If you want to be technical about it, It is all of the above to a degree.

Spoiler for Hidden Content:
This is a first person perspective of the destruction of one's soul, Everything that makes that person, That person. I don't know how else to describe it.

An evil sorcerer came in and destroyed everything that made them who they were, Leaving only a husk for him to control.

The princess was able to hold out for longer by holding on to the memories of her true love, Evelyn.
But in the end, Even that didn't make a difference. Evelyn is dead. The only difference her love made was the fact that her memory of Evelyn was the last to go.

Once that last memory left, All she could feel was sadness. She didn't remember why she was sad, Or who she was. It was just sadness until her soul was snuffed out entirely.

Loss of Humanity is probably one of the scariest prospects I can think of. And the only other time I have seen it done in a similar way is in the novel Halo: The Flood.

There was a chapter in which Captain Jacob Keyes trys to resist assimilation into the flood proto-gravemind. In fact, There is a terminal based on that scene.



See, now you got it! You took a truly terrifying human fear/theme, and turned it into a good short story. I think we all fear losing ourselves/losing control. It's a terrifying aspect to know you have the potential to not exist, or not be who you are anymore.